Lay Hold

It's so easy to forget that the day that God blesses us with a desire for children, He is calling us into parenthood. That calling, and the importance of it, is taken for granted by so many.  Our culture looks at children and parenting without understanding the deep importance of what it means to parent and disciple.  It has become a selfish-driven desire.  We want children because babies are so sweet, or because our biological clocks are ticking, or because isn't that what married people do?  Parenting is a marathon, and the issues become more complex as the kids get older.  We can never abdicate our God-given roles to teachers, preachers, neighbors and the culture in general. 

I picked up a copy of My Utmost for His Highest this afternoon and was thumbing through it when I came upon the June 28th entry. These words, meant for those called into the ministry, still ring true for any calling from God:

"...when once God has put His call on you, woe be to you if you turn to the right hand or to the left.  We are not here to work for God because we have chosen to do so, but because God has apprehended us.  There is never any thought of - 'Oh, well, I am not fitted for this.' "

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Philippians 3:12

A Big “duh” Moment

Something has finally become clear to me.  An acquaintance of mine told me that she and her husband had decided to put their son in public school next year.  Her only real reason was that when she saw the work her son did in his local co-op class, compared to the work he did at home, there was a huge difference.  He made really good grades in the co-op classes, which were challenging.  His work at home....not so good.  So she decided that since her son did so much better in his co-op class compared to the school he did at home that he obviously "responded better" to others.  "Somehow," she said, "he just doesn't put out the effort for me that he does for his other teachers outside the home."

I'm a thinker, and I've been mulling this over and over in the weeks since I chatted with this friend.  There was a time in my thinking process when I thought I also needed to be alarmed because I too, have noticed that my son seems to put out a little more effort for his Biology class at co-op than for some of his work at home. 

I've also been talking with Darin about it.  We've come to the conclusion that the work attitude reflects the heart attitude.  It boils down to whether or not our son is truly honoring his mom and dad as God asks him to do. 

Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you...Dueteronomy 5:16

When Darin and I put work down in front of our son, he should do the work with all his best efforts as a result of his desire to be obedient to God by honoring his dad and me.

It would be nice to be able to lay all the problem at Ben's feet, but that's just not the way it works with parenthood.  Darin and I also realized in the same conversation that it is our job to make sure Ben knows what his proper response to our requests should be.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.  Ephesians 6:4

It's a two-way street.  If we are being clear as day about God's expectations, then we have every right to expect honor in return.  So once again, we're humbled.  Of course Ben has heard us repeat Ephesians 6:1 and Exodus 20:12 about a million times, but I don't know how much we had ever practically applied it to his life.  Ya know, things that seem crystal clear to us, the adults, are not so clear to the kids.  It's our job to teach it and live it.

Lord, direct my steps

I have kids who thrive on a schedule. Well, what kid doesn't? Can you imagine the powerlessness that children sometimes feel? They have no way of leaving the house on their own, no real money of their own...they have very little control of their lives when they're so young. One way we can give them some control is to give them a schedule of daily events and stick to it. Although our daily schedule goes through periodic changes, it's never an all-or-nothing thing. If we need it, I make the changes slowly - one thing at a time.

One of the biggest aspects of following a schedule is flexibility. Things come up! When something interupts our schedule, it's real hard on my kids because they don't want to veer off course. I have to constantly encourage them that we'll get back on track ASAP! I talk to them about being flexible and most importantly, being open to what God brings to our days. One of our most oft repeated verses is Proverbs 16:9:
"A man's heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps."

One of the biggest challenges we encounter is each other. One needs help, the other is looking for a playmate, Mom or Dad needs a chore to be tackled...how we react and respond to each interuption to our own carefully constructed plan is so important. Our culture is so geared towards personal gratification and me-time. Throw that in with a natural tendency towards self-will and selfishness and you've got something that's hard to get over. It's a daily struggle in our home. Darin and I have committed ourselves to be like "water over a rock" as we remind and encourage the kids to give up their own wants for those of the loved ones around them. And then we get down on our knees and pray for the same determination to do this for them as well.

Time With Dad

Today Jack went to work with his Dad.  He has not been willingly doing his chores or schoolwork, so on Tuesday morning, before he left for work, Darin said, "If you don't get your chores done before lunch, you're gonna have to come to work with me tomorrow."  That's right.  I mentioned this to Darin as a possible alternative to everything else that hasn't been working.  I like calling in the Big Guns, man.  Dad has an influence that I just can't match.

My guess is that is exactly what Jack wanted and NEEDED.  As soon as Darin walked out the door, Jack didn't do one more chore.  He played until lunchtime (I'm not gonna beg him to do his chores....he's old enough to know what to do without me sitting on him).  After lunch was over, I sat him down and he did schoolwork until 6:30ish, when Darin came home. 

So I made a nice, long list of things to do for Jack to take with him.  He sat and did schoolwork in Darin's office all day.  Darin says that it didn't seem to offend Jack at all.  He did everything on the list without complaint and was so good.  I honestly think that Jack just needed the extra time with his Dad, even if it was just sitting in the same room with him all day, doing schoolwork while Darin worked.  We do take the time to spend time alone with each of the kids, but I'm sure it's probably never enough.  :-)  I can't wait to see what happens tomorrow....if this day has helped him to settle down.  That would be nice.  ;-)

In other news, look what else we're tackling these days......FUN!  ;-)

Ditching Parenting Books!

Since chucking all our parenting books in favor of solely relying on the Bible as our parenting guide, a couple of things have occurred to me.  First of all, if you're interested, I wrote a couple of posts on ditching the parenting books here and here .

What I've learned:
1) The focus on learning styles has really messed us up as parents.  All the time my pal and I were discussing what parenting tricks would work best for our kids and their styles - what would our kids respond to?  So because we were reading parenting books that touted different parenting tricks for different behaviors and different kids, we lost the focus on the behavior that needed changing.  We were focused on what was working or not working (really, nothing "worked."  That was why we kept looking for new books!), and what other books we could find that would give us more parenting tricks that might work better at changing behavior.  I personally never stuck with anything from all those books which made me inconsistent with my children. 

2)  Since picking up the Bible with my kids and using it as my one and only parenting tool, I realize that learning styles have little or nothing to do with the plain fact that my kids are sinners in need of someone to tell them that.  In a nice way, of course.  ;-)  I don't need some special tricks or mantras when I pull out our Bible to chat with my kids about their problems with anger, laziness, lying, & etc.  The Bible gives my kids all the info they need about how God loves them and what He expects from His children.  The Bible is ENOUGH.  What does Psalm 119:9 say?  "How can a young man cleanse his way?  By taking heed according to Your Word."

3)  I don't know my Bible as well as I wish I did!  ;-)  I rely heavily on For Instructions in Righteousness from Doorposts.  This book has all the behaviors you'll ever come across in your kids referenced with scriptures pertaining to each.  What a blessing it has been.

4)  God is merciful and makes promises to us struggling parents.  Philippians 1:6 comes to mind.  "...He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."  I trust that He will lead my children in His ways as they hear His Word and it is a relief to know that He has them in His hands and is working on their hearts and minds in a way that I never could with parenting tricks. 

 

Heart Monitor

I wrote the following for our homeschooling support group newsletter back in 2003, when First Daughter was five.  :-)  A little trip down memory lane.....

I know I’ll get a big “Amen!” when I tell you that I ever wonder if my children will grow to be who I am working so desperately for them to be.  Day after day, I feel as if I’m their very own Character Monitor.  That wouldn’t be so bad, but I also serve as their Food Monitor, Sleep Monitor, School Monitor, TV Monitor, Computer Game Monitor, and Friend Monitor.  Every aspect of their lives is monitored by my husband and me. 

To put it bluntly, there are days when I feel like a big, fat failure.  Those are the days when I make myself a homemade Chai Tea (it’s not as good as getting it at Starbucks, but I manage), and disappear into the bedroom when my husband comes home, to watch “Inside the Actor’s Studio” on BRAVO.  I feel so unloved on those evenings.  For me to get to the point where I want to disappear for a while, they have been extremely disobedient, argumentative, and downright grouchy.  And I’ve spent the day correcting, praying, and working with all of that, but after being pounded with it in situation after situation, I start taking it personally.  I feel as if I’m not a good parent, that I am not doing what it takes to really reach them, and that the only way to help them is for me to disappear for a while. 

The other day, my daughter lied to me.  That girl just simply refuses to flush the toilet!  She told me she flushed the toilet when she didn’t.  I didn’t say anything, but sent her to her room since it was naptime, and consulted “For Instructions in Righteousness”. (A great resource, found at www.doorposts.net) What was a good story to read to her to illustrate the consequences of lying?  I chose Adam and Eve.  I read her the story, without any pre-reading sermonizing.  Didn’t even mention her lie, because really, I felt so discouraged.  I didn’t feel I could say anything that would make her mend her ways.  I didn’t even really have any big hope that reading from the Bible would penetrate.  I just read her a story, same as we do everyday before her nap.  But God so encouraged me after I finished reading the story to her.  After I finished, the first thing she said was, “I need to be sorry.”  I asked her why and she said, “For my sin.”  I asked her what sin, and she said, “When I lied to you!”  And we prayed, and she said, “Dear God, Thank You to forgive me for my lie.  Amen.” 

My breath was taken away.  The remorse!  The prayer!  She apologized to me!  And I never said a word.  It was all God’s doing.  Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the Word of God is living and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

And all along I thought it was all the things I was telling my children, over and over, that was going to change their hearts.  I don’t have to be their Everything Monitor.  I can be what God has meant for me to be all along, which is a vessel for Him, their Heart Monitor.  He’s done all the work for me through His Son and His Word. 

Thank you God, and forgive me for thinking that I could change my children’s hearts without You.

I

Full-Service Home

Something my Husband and I learned as adults is that the skills we have acquired over the years are not for our own benefit.  They are to be used to serve others.  It's been interesting as we try to instill this thought into our own kids.  God has been good to give us many good opportunities for this.  Especially here at home, since we've begun this "full quiver" journey.  I am a complete control freak, and would do all the cooking and cleaning if I could.  I enjoy it, and especially enjoy seeing it done "right."  ;-) 

But since we had Third Son, and after I got pregnant with Second Daughter, things have changed.  I can't keep up with things as I would like, so the First Three have had to step up and get busy.  All the years of teaching them to do chores and simple cooking are now having to be used for more than just a way to earn allowance for themselves.  They now have to go above and beyond their regular chores.  They are fully capable, if not always fully willing.  And so we have come to a new phase of the learning - using the skills they have to serve others with a cheerful heart.  It's been interesting to watch the kids as they go beyond their regular chores into actual service in the home and see how far they will go before they start complaining.  Our goal is to teach them to go all day, if necessary, with the same good attitude they started out with.

I can relate to that!  Yesterday was a busy, busy day for us and I am a little sore around the bottom part of my tummy from being on my feet so much and sitting in uncomfortable chairs.  On our way home from church today I thought, "I am going to do nothing but lay on the couch all afternoon!"  If I only could have shut my brain off after that thought, I would have been okay, but then I remembered that First Daughter has to make a dessert to her AWANA meeting at church tonight.  She can do it....she just needs a little supervision because she'll be making a new recipe.  I also remembered that I need to run to the store to get some canned goods for the AWANA food drive.  That will use up the afternoon because First and Only Husband and kids will leave for AWANA around 4:30, and then it will be Third-into-everything-Son and  me.     ;-)  My first thought was to groan, and I did.  Then I had to straighten up and decide to go about the day with a better attitude than that!  So here goes...... 

Our Ways and His Ways

I was recently listening to a radio program where a father was discussing the suicide of his son.  I can't imagine the pain that the death of this man's son brought.  I NEVER want to go through that.  What struck me as I was listening, was that everyone on the show kept repeating that the son had been such an intelligent boy.  He could have been anything.  Why did he kill himself?

I think it's a big mistake to 1) tell our kids they can be ANYTHING they want to be and 2) that they are so smart and can achieve or overcome anything in life because of that.

1) We all have limits to our capabilities.  We can certainly do all things through Christ, but Christ has specific plans for us.  How many times have we talked with someone and shared how God "closed the door" on this or that ambition because He had a different purpose for our lives?  "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9. 

2) We can credit all our success on our brain power all day if we want, but God sees it differently.  "Everyone proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord; though they join forces, none shall go unpunished." Proverbs 16:5

I think that we set our kids up for what they believe is a deep failure on their parts when we focus their attention on their abilities, their intelligence, their interests, rather than on what God's plan for their lives is.  Kids who are raised to rely on their own smarts in making their way through life will be self-centered.  They will most likely forget that God made them for a purpose in their grief over their failures - never understanding that God may have just closed the ol' proverbial door FOR them. 

I can't say for sure how this man raised his son to think about himself or God.  He may have done and said all the right things to his son, but maybe his son was tuned into the world's way of thinking more than his father's?  We'll never know.  But we do know how we are raising our own children.  It's difficult. Even as homeschooling parents, we can get caught up in the "they sent their homeschooled kids to Harvard" stories (these days, who WANTS their kids to go there anyway?) and focus on academic and social successes.  Psalm 127:1 can serve as a great reminder of what our priorities with our children should be:
"Unless the Lord builds the house (or kid;-), they labor in vain who build it..."

Raising Pharisees

This is another blog entry by the guys over at Pulpit Magazine.  I love this blog.  It teaches me so much.  This particular blog entry is something that brings me to God in prayer every day.  I want my kids to have a HEART knowledge of Him, rather than just HEAD knowledge.  That's what I had growing up, which brought about so many wasted years of my life.

Raising Pharisees

Posted: 05 Oct 2007 02:01 AM CDT

(By Kurt Gebhards)

* Kurt serves as the Pastor of Children’s Ministries at Grace Church.

One dynamic of Children’s Ministries at Grace Community Church is that most of the children we minister to come from Christian families. Many of them are blessed with the sound and systematic teaching from God’s Word both at home and in the church, and even sometimes in school. This is something to be grateful for, but it also presents a unique challenge to those of us in Children’s Ministries. While the world breeds rebels, the church can unwittingly breed hypocrites.

It is the sad testimony of church history that the works and expressions of sacrificial love and devotion of one generation of Christians can quickly turn into legalistic rules and regulations for the next. The convictions of the first generation become the caprice of the second. It is sad and shameful how quickly the Object of wonder and worship of a generation can become the boredom and betrayal of the next. Hypocrisy is an imminent and evident threat to the church of Jesus Christ.

Churched children are seldom given to outright defiance of authority; they are much more susceptible to the poison of Pharisaism. Hypocrisy in the heart is much more difficult to spot than disobedient behavior. The Bible gives us some definite character traits of the pretentious pietist, and here is what they may look like in a child:

 His outward behavior and adherence to rules are driven by a desire to please men, not by a love for God with all his heart, soul, mind and strength (Mk. 12:30).

 Doing good works and having them observed by adults is more important than the action itself (Mt. 6:5).

 The child is openly obedient and responsive – asking to pray before bedtime with you – while maintaining a quietly deceitful and rebellious attitude (Gal. 6:7).

 He scrupulously observes the letter of the law – like religiously bringing his Bible to church – but neglects the weightier spirit of the law – like sharing his favorite toys with his siblings (Mt. 23:23).

 He craves the verbal praises and tangible rewards of his parents and teachers, but cares little for the approbation of God Himself (Jn. 12:43)

Left unchecked by the grace and Word of God, by the time such a child reaches his teenage years, hypocrisy can have entrenched itself. 

 This teen prefers well-defined, black and white rules, for they give him a sense of certainty that God must surely reward those achievements (Lk. 18:12).

 He adds a layer of rules to the Word of God (like not watching any movies, not listening to popular music, et cetera), giving the impression that he holds to a higher standard than Holy Scripture (Mt. 23:4).

 He tends to propose personal preferences as, or elevate them above, divine imperatives (Mt. 15:2-3).

 He pursues perfectionism (Phil. 3:6), not excellence (Phil. 3:12-14).

 He separates himself from others he considers of lesser cultural morality – people whose table manners, courtesy of speech, and refinement of mannerisms do not match middle-class norms (Lk. 15:1-2).

 He is judgmental – he excels at fault-finding, he loves to pick verbal fights – and the standard by which he condemns others is not primarily biblical, but personal, preferential, or traditional (Mt. 7:5).  He fights against many people, against many issues, but he does not know who he is fighting for.

Hypocrisy is the pretense of virtue or piousness that is contrary to one’s real character. And make no mistake, hypocrisy spreads like an unseen cancer. Everything appears alive and spiritually vital, then suddenly, the person is dull –and soon dead. The Lord specifically warned His disciples, “Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy.” (Lk. 12:1) Since hypocrisy is hidden deep within the recesses of the heart, it goes on unchecked and will hollow out its victim from the inside.

One of the dangers is that these outwardly compliant children receive much approval from parents and teachers. So they are encouraged to continue the duplicity unless anti-hypocritical measures are employed. We can certainly teach and militate against hypocrisy in the following ways:

 Instead of just dealing with external behavior issues, we should seize every opportunity to help children understand that it is their hearts that generate their actions (Mt. 15:19). In His judgment of man, God looks at the heart (1 Sam.16:7). We should never equate occasions of good behavior (professions of love for Jesus, acts of compliance, et cetera) with saving faith in Jesus. We need to go beyond fixing wrong behavior to helping the child understand that his evil heart can only be changed by the Lord in regeneration.

 Emphasize the affections of NT religion. Make sure that we are not just aiming at a young person’s understanding, but that we reach for the heart and its affections.

 Do not encourage children to exhibit their talents and gifts to impress others. They should be reminded that all that they are and have are gifts of grace from God (1 Cor. 4:7), and they should not regard themselves more highly than they ought (Rom. 12:3).

 Teach the truth about integrity – which comes from the word for “integer” or “whole.” For a child with integrity, whichever way you turn them, they look they same. Who they are at church, is who they are in school, is who they are at home. This is what our kids should be.

 Do not be afraid to share our spiritual and moral failures with children in instances where they can identify with our shortcomings. This allows us to be authentic with them. It also allows us to demonstrate our response to God when we have done wrong, and our reliance on Him to continue molding our hearts.

 Be authentic in your love for Christ. Genuine desire for Christ is not easily faked. Let your zeal be a barometer by which they measure their own affection for Christ.

Hypocrisy is an insidious danger in Children’s Ministries today. It also threatens each individual home. As parents, it is our job to honor the intention of Psalm 78:4-6:

We will not conceal [the Word of God] from their children, But tell to the generations to come the praises of the LORD, and His strength and His wondrous works that He has done, that they should teach [the law] to their children, that the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, That they may arise and tell them to their children.

Na-Na-Na-Na-Boo-Boo

I don't know about you, but tattle-telling is hot business with my three oldest.  It seems I spend my day asking them, "Did you talk to so-and-so before you came to me?"  Of course they usually haven't, or if they have, it wasn't it the nicest of tones.  So I send them off again to work out their issues.  First Daughter knows how her Dad and I feel about tattle-telling, so she does something that totally cracks us up.  If she's involved in a situation with her big brother, we might hear something like this from the next room:
"Stop!  You took my book from me and won't give it back!"
That's her way of tattle-telling without coming directly to us with the issue.  I guess she thinks that if we hear her exposition on the situation, we will come running in and take over.  ;-)

Yesterday I came across a great blog entry by Rob Wilkerson on his blog, MOG.  The title of the entry he wrote is "Father Forgive Them..." - Applying the Gospel to Tattle-Telling - Again  Rob has great insight into this topic that is mostly a thorn in the side of parents.  Here's a great excerpt:

Again, the motivation of the tattle-tale is not to help or serve or protect. Instead it is has multiple sources. Perhaps it is to make themselves look important in the eyes of others. That's usually a key motivation for my children. Or perhaps it is to see them get in some sort of trouble, to be censured, to be reprimanded, terminated from their job, etc. This is also a key motivation for my children. Perhaps it is merely because such communication methods are second-nature to them and they can't help themselves. This has to be dealt with seriously. All of these motivations reveal something significant going on in the heart, and if that can be discovered and addressed then the problem of tattle-telling can be repented of. This is the most key factor in dealing with this sin.

The entire entry is so good.  Check it out and maybe enjoy reading a new-to-you blogger.  :-)

 

Body Snatchers

Reading this short article today made my blood boil:

Female Prisoner Dies in Eritrea for Refusing to Renounce Faith in Christ

Allie Martin
OneNewsNow.com
September 11, 2007

A ministry, which informs Christians about the plight of persecuted believers worldwide, says persecution is on the rise in Eritrea, a small African nation located along the southwestern coast of the Red Sea.

Open Doors USA has recently learned of the death of Eritrean prisoner Migsti Haile. The 33-year-old woman was a Christian who was imprisoned, tortured, and then killed for refusing to renounce her faith in Christ.

Haile was among a group of ten single Christian women who had been arrested at a church gathering and then spent a year-and-a-half imprisoned under harsh conditions. Dr. Carl Moeller, president of Open Doors USA, says the Eritrean government is scared of religion and its influence.

"It's incredulous for most Americans to think about a small country like this, taking out such aggressive violence against Christians -- and for what reason?" he questions. "They have a quasi-Marxist government there that is power centric and ... afraid of the force of religion in their country."

He says Open Doors is maintaining an "active campaign" to raise awareness of these types of situations to European, U.S., State Department, and human rights officials. "We have programs where people can, of course, get informed about what is happening, because you're not going to see this in the New York Times or CNN," he states.

Moeller points out that four Christians have died in Eritrea during the past year as a result of persecution. And currently more than 2,000 Eritrean Christians are imprisoned and tortured because they refuse to renounce their faith in Christ.

It's going on all over the globe.  I get anxious for God to take His revenge on the persecutors of my fellow believers, but realize that I have to simmer down and let God take care of issues like this in His own time.

In the meantime, I talk daily to our kids about persecuted people from around the world.  I think it is so important that they realize that it's real.  It's happening, and their futures may not be all about living out the American Dream, but about living out their faith in Christ in a way that may seem all too shockingly real.  I pray that if the time comes that they have to suffer for their faith that they stay strong and remember that no one can snatch them from His hand.

 

We Have the Mind of Christ, Part 3

 

Here's a challenge.  Put your children in place of the woman in the black t-shirt.  Put yourself in the place of all those who tempted her away from Christ.  Ask yourself if there is anything you are placing in front of your children that takes time away from their life with Christ, as in Bible Study, Church, One-on-One Discipling from you or your spouse.  There are many, many things that we, as parents, come up with to fill our kid's time, such as sports teams, co-ops, youth groups, a book that is a must--read, & etc.

This is a subject that I think we parents must constantly visit.  Exactly what is it that we are doing that is drawing our kids to Christ?  Do they know that they have the mind of Christ  (1 Cor. 2:9-16) and can draw close to Him in a way they never imagined through reading the Bible and prayer?

My Husband and I used to have the goal that we wanted to raise our kids to be "better" than we were by the time we hit our 20's.  Not a hard thing!  ;-)  We definitely had some {partying} issues.  But now our new goal is becoming to teach our kids that they have the mind of Christ.  What power we give them to maneuver through life's surprises, if through God's grace, we succeed in meeting our goal.

Read these:
Most Twentysomethings Put Christianity on the Shelf Following Spiritually Active Teen Years
Most Adults Feel Accepted by God, But Lack a Biblical Worldview
Teens Evaluate the Church-Based Ministry They Received As Children

We Have the Mind of Christ, Part 2

As far as reading the Bible to our kids goes, there is a book that has had a HUGE influence on my husband and me.  It is titled Ten P's in a Pod.  Looking at the cover of this book, you might think that it's a sweet, anecdotal book about a Mom and Pop and their eight kids and all the situations they find themselves in and the outcomes of those situations.  Well.......yes.  But there is so much more. 

The Father of this family, Arnold Pent, was truly a man who obeyed God's command in Dueteronomy 6:4-9.
"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."

The Pent family traveled together, spreading the Word of God and they were REAL.  They meant every word they said when they spoke of Christ because they were immersed in the Bible.  As a family, they read the Bible three times each day AND they each had their own personal Quiet Time with God.  Scripture had a real meaning to them and they were able to be effective in their ministry because of it.  And even though they're not traveling around together today, the testimony of how they lived their life and loved their God shines through in Ten P's in a Pod and is still affecting others for Christ today. 

The Pent family sure have affected how my Husband and I are approaching life with the fam.  Our goal now is to read to our kids from the Bible three times each day.  It's a shame, but we find it a struggle to achieve that goal.  We've got twice each day under our belts, but man, are we struggling with "finding time" to fit in that third reading.  It's hard to give up our worldly goals for a squeaky clean house, certain activities for the "good" and "benefit" for the kids, and even academic goals.  These are our own issues that we know we have to work on surrendering to God.

More to come.....

We Have the Mind of Christ

We've been doing daily Bible Study with our kids for years now.  We start off each school day with some hymn singing, Bible reading, and prayer.  We work hard to be as consistent during the weekends.  Not something we are always successful at doing, but we're getting better.  There have been times when I wonder why my Husband and I even bother with it because it seems that more often than not, the words are falling on deaf ears.  Oh, ME of little faith!  I forget Hebrews 4:12.  "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."

The last two weeks, the kids and I have been listening to a series of messages by Dr. David Jeremiah.  He is a wonderful communicator, and the kids get a lot of what he says because he doesn't talk over them.  The series has been on the Basics of the Christian Faith.  Great messages on "What the Bible Says About......Communion, Church Membership, Christian Fellowship, Baptism, Christian Service, Tithing, Spritual Gifts, Evangelism, The Power of God's Word, Prayer, Eternal Security, and Salvation."  Dr. Jeremiah has called it Spiritual Training Camp for Believers.  It's been very good, and sparked a bit of conversation with the kids. 

I can't remember which message we had just listened to, but somehow First Son admitted that when he was baptized when he was seven, after accepting Christ, he said he didn't think that his heart was in the right place.  He said he only accepted Christ because he wanted to be baptized, but during our Bible Study time, he came to realize the error in his decision, and was ready to make it right.  After he said that, I was mentally screaming to myself, "He said that it was during our Bible Study time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  What a blessing to know that God's Word had not returned null and void as I was afraid it was doing.  God is so good, and today we are rejoicing as he and our Daughter are getting ready to be baptized in a few weeks.

God is so good to confirm all we have been doing.  There have been times when I doubted because we use no Bible Study Curriculum.  Only the Bible.  On homeschool loops, I have participated in many a discussion about what Bible Study materials everyone uses with their kids and I know there are a lot of good ones out there, but I've never been able to shake the thought that relying on JUST the Bible is enough.  And everytime I chime in with that opinion, I am completely ignored.  Don't get me wrong......I don't expect everyone to come along and pat me on the back and chat me up just because I have an opinion, but it has worried me on two counts.  First, I worry that our society relies too much on materials that explain the Bible, rather than relying more on the Holy Spirit to teach us.  The next thing that plagues me is insecurity.  I start wondering if my Husband and I are doing the right thing.  Should we get some sort of material to help us teach the Bible?  But God has been faithful to His Word and taught my Husband, me, and the kids through our time together. 

We read 1 Corinthians 2 this week.  Verses 9-16 say:
However, as it is written:
   "No eye has seen,
      no ear has heard,
   no mind has conceived 
what God has prepared for those who love him" but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.
      The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words.  The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment: 
 "For who has known the mind of the Lord
      that he may instruct him?"  But we have the mind of Christ.

What we gathered from this, is that having the mind of Christ, we are able to be taught the truth of scripture from the Holy Spirit alone, and we are certainly seeing the fruits of that around here.  God is good.

Grace

The kids and I have been listening to John MacArthur's series on Forgiveness for the last week.  You know, it's something that we can all work on around here.  ;-)  I would give a link so you can listen in for yourself if you're interested, but I can't find one.  I am subscribed to his podcasts and download his daily radio messages onto my iPod for us to hear. 

I have to say, if you don't have an iPod, you should do ALL you can to get one.  Mine has changed the face of our homeschool in so many ways!  Skip counting tapes and other math/geography/grammar misc.?  On the iPod.  Books on tape?  On the iPod.  Everything is on the iPod and I no longer have to lug around a heavy, annoying CD holder from the house to the car and back again.  My husband bought a cord that plugs into our stereo system that plugs into the iPod and we all have listened to "The Fellowship of the Rings" together every evening.  We also have an adapter for it in the car and we have listened to many a history CD (LOVE Diana Waring!) as we travel about. The "little rectangle" (as I used to call it before I understood all it could do) holds a TON of stuff.  I love my iPod.

ANYWAY........so we've been listening to a series on Forgiveness......where was I??????  OH!  Yes, well, after we listened to each sermon, the kids and I would chat about all the implications that the information we had just heard, could have on our lives.  And I've been tossing around the word "grace" a lot in conjuction with what God provides for us by way of His own forgiveness towards us. 

Tonight I went to The Shepherd's Scrapbook.  Great blog, but I can only really focus on it when I'm not totally fried from playing mommy all day.  You know, it's deep and thoughtful - one of THOSE blogs.  ;-)  Somehow, tonight, I was able to focus, and Tony, the blog owner, had posted a quote by Sinclair Ferguson.  It goes like this:

No such ‘thing’ as grace
by Sinclair Ferguson

“There is nothing between the person of the Lord Jesus and the person of the believer as that union and communion develops and grows. I think this is a very important thing for us to grasp. Let me put it the way I sometimes put it: The union with Christ we have is not that we somehow or another share His grace. Because – follow me carefully – there actually is no ‘thing’ as grace. That actually is a Medieval Roman Catholic teaching. There is a ‘thing’ called grace that can be separated from the person of Jesus Christ. It is something Jesus Christ won on the Cross and He can bestow it on you. And there are at least seven ways it can be bestowed on you and they all, as it happens, turn out to be in the hands of the church. And you can have this kind of grace, and this kind of grace, and this kind of grace … There is no such ‘thing’ as grace! Grace is not some appendage to His being. Nor is it some substance that flows from us: ‘Let me give you grace.’ All there is is the Lord Jesus Himself. And so when Jesus speaks about us abiding in Him and He abiding in us – however mysterious it may be, mystical in that sense – it is a personal union. Do not let us fail because of the abuse of expressions. Do not let us fail to understand that, at the end of the day, actually Christianity is Christ because there isn’t anything else. There is no atonement that somehow can be detached from who the Lord Jesus is. There is no grace that can be attached to you transferred from Him. All there is is Christ and your soul.”

-Sinclair Ferguson on John 15 at the Banner of Truth Ministers’ Conference in Grantham, PA this Spring.

It's always easy to let things or ideas take the place of Christ, isn't it?  I'm afraid I've been focusing more on "grace" than CHRIST with the kids, and will have to do a HUGE U-turn in our conversation tomorrow.  Just another instance of Mom not being perfect.  sigh.  ;-)

He Keeps Me Singing

This is an article I wrote for our support group's newsletter.  After I wrote my last post I was reminded of this.  It's the perfect example of how God was able to control the situtaion I was in.  It's such a relief that I know He has my back!  :-)

He Keeps Me Singing

I sat on the couch, listening to my children bicker, bicker and bicker even more with each other, just as they had been all that morning.  Just as they had been all that week!  It was Friday, and I totally understand all the implications Friday brings.  Celebration!  Relief, knowing that it’s the last day of the work week and that the next day we get to relax!  TGIF, right?  I guess my kids don’t totally get that yet, because they were going full steam ahead with the status quo for that week

Darin and I have specific goals in mind for our children.  We have our mission statement, and it’s burned on our hearts and minds.  In a nutshell, it’s to raise our children to be better prepared for life that we were.  Sounds kind of vague, but it has very specific meanings for us.  Part of the very specific meaning for us is to focus on their spiritual lives.  Yet as the kids had worn me down with their bickering all week, I began to lose my resolve. 

We were getting ready for our morning Bible study.  I sat on the couch with my Bible and hymn book in my lap, rubbing my forehead with my first three fingers in total despair and frustration, until I thought I was going to wear a permanent red mark there.  I was shedding a few tears and silently praying, “God, I see the vision You’ve given Darin and me for our kids, but would it really hurt to call it a Movie Day?  They can space out to movies, and I can get away from their arguing with each other and me.  Sounds fair, ya?”  No.

“God, I can see the vision You’ve given Darin and me for our kids, but surely it wouldn’t hurt if I just called a timeout and spent some time building myself up for a change, rather than being bombarded with complaining and disobedience.  It would help me to be able to deal calmly with them later, ya?”  No.

“God, I can see the vision You’ve given Darin and me for our kids, but I am worn out!  I don’t think I can go on, YA?”  No.  You can.  You have to.  Do you see the vision I have given you?

“Okay.  Please help me!”  Ya.

I usually let the kids pick the songs we will sing, but this time I picked it!  “Trust and Obey”.  This was no time to be subtle!  These kids needed to learn to Trust, and especially to Obey, right?  As we sang this song, I felt nothing but wiped out, but we made it through with little stress so I asked Lydia what she would like to sing.  She looked at the hymn book, and pointed to the song across from “Trust and Obey”, which we had never sung before, but I knew it, so agreed to go for it.  As I read the title, I chuckled a little at the irony.  It was “He Keeps Me Singing”.  I thought, “Oh, please!  I am singing, but not cheerfully!”  Here is my thought process as we sang this song:

“There’s within my heart a melody,”
Oh yeah, I’m just jumping for joy, here!  WHAT melody?
“Jesus whispers sweet and low;”
Oh, I guess I can’t hear that melody above my own complaining and disobedient attitude!  Bummer!  Well, it’s going to take me awhile to get over this.
“Fear not, I am with thee, peace be still,”
That’s right.  You said you would help me. I’m sorry.  Please help me to feel Your true joy and be able to truly disciple my children for You!
“In all of life’s ebb and flow.”
Even today!  Thank You!

(Sing it if you know it!)
“Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! 
Sweetest name I know!
Fills my every longing!
Keeps me singing as I go!”

Doesn’t He?  Yes.  He keeps us all singing as we go along the road if we remember to Trust and Obey His words.  And I thanked Him then, and thank Him now for His faithfulness in keeping His vision for our children alive in my heart that day.  We had a wonderful time of Bible study and hymn singing, and the rest of our day went so much more smoothly than when it started.  I like Ezra 8:22.  It says, “…the hand of our God is upon all them for good that seek Him.”  He never forgets a promise.  Thank you, God!

Bronc Bustin'

Quite often I feel like a bronc buster.  I'm the buster, and my kids are the bronc.  As I go from one hardhead to the next, I picture myself on a bucking bronco with my head down and right arm up in the air, holding on for dear life.  I never imagine myself falling off because I remind myself that God has my back.  He is holding me on the horse as steady as can be, and as long as I can remember that, I can be faithful. 

Today was a day that I had to constantly remind myself of that.  Our six-year-old has decided in the last two weeks to stop doing his chores.  And right after I wrote that glowing post about how wonderful the kids are to keep up with their chores!  Isn't that just the way it goes?  Every day last week, and then again yesterday he just refused to do his chores, and we have piled on the consequences to the point where today, I just about didn't have the heart to pile on more.  More for my sake, than his.  I got to the point where I just didn't feel like punishing him anymore....I was tired of being the strong arm and just wanted to stop.  But I pressed on because I know that if I give up, that ol' bronc will buck harder next time the same issue comes up.  

And I'm praying for him.  Something that has finally occurred to me over the last couple of months is that my kids are not a spiritual extension of me.  They have their own journey to make with God that has nothing to do with what I think they should do, or how they should do it.  So I pray for each of my kids and in a lot of situations, I am learning to take a step back and allow God to work on their hearts after I've prayed for them.  And I pray for them out loud and in front of them!  They hate it, but I got the inspiration from listening to a Little Bear CD.  He was talking about a missionary, and I can't remember who it was right now, but the missionary wrote about what a deep influence his father was on him, and that when he was growing up, his father would do the out loud prayer thing, and he said that nothing else could bring on the remorse better than that prayer.  This guy may be a little less hardheaded than my kids.  So far, I haven't had them fling themselves down at my feet and ask for forgiveness, but I'm expecting it any day now.  ;-)   

Oooooof!

I got a kick in the stomach through a gumball on Christmas Day.  Or maybe a punch in the arm?  Either way, another lesson learned.  :-)

We don't chew gum here at our house.  Sounds silly to most, I know, but there are a few reasons why I would prefer my kids not to chew it:

1) sugar.  I know, I know.  We can't totally avoid sugar, and we don't go out of our way to do so, but it's easy to avoid sugar in something like gum - a nonessential.

2) aspartame.  The fake sweetener is just as obnoxious as the real sweetener.

3) food coloring.  I hate food coloring.  It is SO unnecessary!  Take egg nog for instance.  I looked at the list of ingredients on egg nog at the grocery store this month, and it has Yellow #5 in it.  WHY????  For what purpose????  I ended up making our own egg nog here at home, and it was also yellow because of the egg yolks.  So why do the makers and sellers of egg nog feel the need to add yellow?  The Feingold folks can give anyone a good education about food coloring. 

4) I read a short blurb about gum chewing that explained that when we chew, our brains receive the signal to tell our bodies to start producing the acid needed for digestion which can wreak havoc with our tummies.  My husband struggles with GERD already.  I see no need to add to his troubles with this, or expose our kids who might have the same weakness, to possible trouble for a stick of gum.

So that's my reasoning over gum.  What a scrooge!  It's a piece of gum, right??????  Oh, well.

So the big lesson learned..........I've told the kids that gum is not all it's cracked up to be and that their Dad and I have decided to opt-out where it is concerned.  The problem is that we would only discuss it in the checkout line at Target when the kids see the gum and ask if they can have some.  So I spent all of two seconds telling them no, that it's bad, bad, bad for them. 

Well, my daughter bought a big thing of gumballs for her brother for Christmas with her AWANA bucks at the AWANA store.  My husband or I were not there with her while she was doing her shopping, and she wrapped all her gifts on her own.  I didn't say anything when my son opened her gift.  I mean, come on, I'm not going to ruin a good gift-opening moment like that!  But as I thought about it throughout the day, I realized that the reason that my daughter gave those gumballs to my son was because even though my husband and I prefer that the kids not chew gum, we had never really explained why we thought it was not the best choice to our kids. Communication was lacking, which led to a lack of conviction on my daughter's part.

This made me think back through my life as a Christian gal.  I went through a loooooong period of lukewarm Christianity because, quite honestly, a lack of communication on the who, what, where, when's and why's of what Christianity is all about.  I was just told what sort of Christian I needed to be, which was great, but without a roadmap to get me there, I was floundering all over the place.  I had no conviction, which led to many bad decisions that make me cringe to this day.  If only........!

So those goofy gumballs have given me a fresh reminder that I need to be communicating with my kids about all this stuff rather than just telling them to "do this" and "do that" because it's best for them.  Works as long as they stay two years old their whole lives!  But they are getting older, and are going to need SOMETHING to base their decisions to follow God or reject God when they leave our home, and I had better be about the business of supplying them with that something!  After all, I am one who must give an account of my work.

Proverbs 18:19

"A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city,

And contentions are like the bars of a castle."

 

The notes in my MacArthur Study Bible say, "There are no feuds as difficult to resolve as those with  relatives; no barriers are so hard to bring down.  Hence, great care should be taken to avoid such conflicts."

 

Who hasn't experienced this???  I see it in my kids every day, and have felt the pain of it myself with my own brothers and sister at one time or another. 

 

PRAY for your children.  PRAY that they will not EVER develop a rift that is too wide to cross to each other.  Their relationship as brothers and sisters will make or break their relationships with everyone else with which they will come into contact.

 

I like to pray using Proverbs 16:24.  It says,

"Pleasant words are like a honeycomb,

Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones."

I will say, "God, I pray that my children will understand that 'pleasant words to each other are like a honeycomb that will provide sweetness to the souls and health to the bones of each other."

 

Do know that prayers like this aren't always answered in a week's time.  It may take years to see the fruit of a prayer like this, but God is faithful and will answer!