I Can't Even THINK of What to Title this Post....

On Thursday, Darin brought home some papers he received from one of his bosses on his way out the door.  It was a recap of the new insurance set-up for the coming year.  Darin said he read over it, but didn't get it, so I decided to take a turn and immediately I understood why he didn't understand what was on the paper.  WHO WOULD?  Who could believe what was right there on black and white?  To recap: it seems Darin's company has thrown it's employees under the bus on this one.  I won't go into the details, but it seems that way. 

Here's the deal: Our health insurance premiums went down 25 bucks a month to $400.  Starts out good.  Then comes the Freak Out part. 

Our deductible is $5,000 per person, or $10,000 for the family. 

But after that we're covered at 100%, baby!

Sigh.

Basically, our insurance has gone up from close to $5,000 a year to $9,000-$15,000 per year.  <cough! choke! SPIT!!>

We're amazed. 

We're also not signing up for this joke of a plan.  Our immediate concern is the birth of our new baby girl in December.  We cannot pay for a hospital birth.  We looked up what we and our insurance company paid for Sophia's birth - about $12,000.  We paid 20% of that after our $1000 deductible was met.  But now we can't imagine being able to pay $10,000!  Oh my.  That just gets my heart beating real fast.

So....we are checking out a local midwife that some of my friends have begged me to go to for the last couple of babies.  ;-)  It should be a fraction of the cost without the presence of those abhorrent spine numbing epidurals.  eeek!  Please, REALLY.  Say a prayer for me about this.  The good news is that my labor has dramatically sped up with every baby.  The other good news is that I have never been one to have to push longer than 5 or 10 minutes.  The OTHER good news is that our chiropractor has been getting my pelvis good and lined up so the baby can just come right out with no hang-ups.  He told me today that I'm perfectly lined up and ready to go and that he can't wait for the delivery.  (me too! ;-) The other good news is that I have already been working at trying to psyche myself up for an epidural-free delivery, but I was keeping it to myself because ya know, if one talks about things out loud, it tends to make it harder to follow through.  At least for me it does.  My resolve weakens and then I give in to whatever it was I was trying to psyche myself up for.  But I don't have to worry about giving in to the epidural this time since there won't be an option for it. 

I know I sound like a total wimp to some of you ladies out there, but I have been induced with every baby.  Those induced contractions are STRONG and painful. 

Anyway...it is what it is.  Definitely no epidural this time around.  I'm almost relieved that the choice has been made for me.  I won't have to feel like a failure for giving in this time around, if you know what I mean. 

ANYWAY...say a prayer for the protection of our family.  We are going to use the money we would normally pay towards our insurance premium to pay for the midwife.  After that, we will probably try to sign-on with Samaritan Ministries (we've heard good things).  Pray that our family will stay healthy and injury-free!

Mom and Dad

My Mom and Dad have always been here when we have a baby.  After Ben was born, they came and brought along my teenage niece and nephew and stayed a couple weeks.  We were living in a two bedroom apartment at the time, but we all crowded in and had a great time together.

Lydia was a difficult pregnancy.  I was put on bedrest at 31 weeks, and down flew my Mom from TN.  She stayed with us for seven weeks and saw us through the first week of Lydia's little life.  My Mom is a huge homebody and I can't imagine the torture of staying in someone else's home for almost two months, but she did it with a smile on her face the entire time.

When Jack was born, we had another two week visit from my parents as well as my nephew Josh.  It was great to have them there because Jack had been a 10 pound 2 oz. big boy.  I was very sore after that delivery!  Mom served up more of her good ol' Tennessee homecooking while my Dad took the kids to the park and kept himself busy doing any home improvements for us that he could.

I started having false labor pains - intense false labor pains - pretty close to Henry's due date.  Before then, my parents hadn't been sure when they would come - before or after the birth.  But as soon as they got the update on what I was going through, they hit the interstate and were with us within two days.  Mom totally takes over and boy, was I glad to see her then.  :-)

Sophia was born in December.  My parents decided that they were going to come and spend the entire month with us so they could also be here for Christmas.  They got here around the 4th and Sophia was born on the 7th.  The whole month was one big date night for Darin and me.  :-)  Mom and Dad kept reminding us, "We won't always be here!  You go spend some time together while you can!  We'll stay here and hold the baby."  LoL  When we would leave, Mom would be in the rocking chair, holding Sophia.  We always found her in the same position when we got back.  It killed her back, but she was in heaven.  A few times Dad said she even let him hold her.  ;-)

But we noticed a difference in my parents the last time they were here.  I am the 5th of 6...my parents were born during the Depression...my Dad is 79 and my Mom is 74.  They didn't seem as energetic as in the past.  In fact, it was a big difference between Henry and Sophia's birth.  They are 21 months apart.  My parents noticed it, too, and said they probably would not be able to help out if there were another.  And they can't.  They are both struggling with health issues this year.  My Dad just had heart surgery to replace a valve and repair another and my Mom is struggling with her own things. 

It's really hard to think they won't be here when our new little one makes her debut this December!  I think it's hardest on the kids because they have so MANY cherished memories with Mamaw and Papaw and want to continue building on them.  My parents have been such good grandparents and they absolutely have the love and devotion of the Beard children to prove it. 

Sense? Sensibility???

It was one of our crazy/busy weeks this week and by Friday night I could barely walk.  I spent most of my days this week on my feet going from one thing to the next which is really nothing out of the ordinary for me, but when I'm pregnant, I always move slowly.  I've been trying to move at my regular speed, and became real sore at the bottom of my tummy - I guess where most of the weight of the baby rests.  After dinner, Darin banished me to the couch where I sat and watched Ben, Lydia and Jack cleaning the kitchen.  After we had all the kids in bed, I finally stretched out on the couch and was probably asleep before they were.  ;-)  I laid my head in Darin's lap and he rubbed my head for the two seconds I was awake.  He watched two movies he knew I don't have much interest in.  I never heard a thing.

This morning Darin put me on a sort of bedrest for the day.  So I made a grocery list, printed out tons of groovy coupons, told Darin what to make for lunch and then ate what he made (how kewl was that???), put Henry and Sophia in bed, worked a bit on planning some school for Ben, then Lydia and I got in the car and went to SuperTarget for our weekly shopping trip.  Darin made dinner and is giving Henry and Sophia a bath right now.  Ben, Lydia and Jack are almost done in the kitchen.

I am not used to such inactivity!  And while my body is slow right now, my brain is definitely not.  Feeling the leisure of the day, I have made plans to begin work on my forgotten cross stitch project and maybe pick up a new knitting project.  I bought a really neat knitting book for beginners with some new patterns in it a few months ago.  (FYI - I will never get to that stuff, but it's fun to think about.)  To top it all off, I went to Sense & Sensibility Patterns and bought an ePattern for a Regency Era dress to make for Lydia for Halloween.  Click here to view more details

Really, not a totally insane thing to do unless you realize that I have only the most BASIC sewing skills.  BASIC.  I have no business buying a pattern for a Regency Era dress.  But since my mind has been in overdrive today, I've convinced myself that we have two months to figure it out and it'll all be fine!  If you're my Mother-in-Law and are reading this right now, you're probably quaking in your boots and I would say that you're totally justified.  ;-)  But I'm determined.  Really, I am.  I have downloaded the pattern and tomorrow we will go get some interfacing (I have no idea what that is) which we will use to transfer the pattern onto that we printed out tonight.  Then we'll take it from there.  Lordy.  I'll keep you posted on our progress..... 

"...with purpose of heart they should continue in the Lord."

The other day I was reading the chapter titled, "The Power of Purpose" from Beautiful Girlhood with Lydia.  Included in the chapter was this story that has been bouncing around in my thoughts since we read it. 

"The power of purpose is the power of love.  No man can cleave to any purpose with all his heart unless he loves the cause for which he strives.  He must so love that cause that to give it up would be like giving up his very life.  I once read of a woman who lived on a lonely ranch in a foreign land.  Her husband had to go away for a week or more, leaving her alone for that time with their little children.  He had not been gone long, when she was bitten by a poisonous snake.  She knew that in a matter of hours she would die.  She remembered her children, and that if they were to be kept safe she must in the time left her draw enough water and bake enough bread to supply them until their father returned, or he might find all his family dead.  So she worked and prayed that day, sick, fainting, almost unconscious; but love set her purose strong, and she struggled on.  Night came, and her time was nearly gone.  She put her babes to bed, and wandered out of sight of the cabin to die, but with a determination to live as long as possible for her children's sake.  In the morning she was miraculously still alive, still walking, and her system beginning to clear of the poison.  She lived to tell the story, a monument to the power of a loving pupose."

I pray that I can start every day with such a purpose and serve my family as though I really mean it! 

"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. (John 15:13)"