Just for Little Ol' Me

There are days around here when I have to remind myself that I asked - okay, BEGGED God to give me the opportunity to be a stay-at-home-mom.  I really harassed God about it, too. 

So when I go into a Christian bookstore and see a book that lists page after page of ideas for things for me to do that will give me some "ME time" I just get worked up.  Or listening to Christian radio the other day and being sweetly reminded by one of the speakers to "make time for just YOU."  Ugh.  I can't stand it! 

For one thing, I am a fallen, sinful woman.  It is easy for me to focus on myself.  It is easy to find hobbies with which to occupy myself.  Even if I didn't have enough imagination to come up with a hobby to fill my time with, I'm sure I could find something on t.v. to watch.  The last thing I need is for someone to give me ideas about how I can take the focus off what I'm supposed to be doing.  (Man, do I sound like a huge grouch, or what???)

Well, grouch or not, what I NEED as a Mom is encouragement to make my husband, kids and home the focus of my life!  I already struggle with wanting to get to my knitting or scrapbooking when I have a million other things to do without hearing the modern-day mantra, "Make time for just YOU."  God never tells us Moms to make time for our hobbies.  Not when we have responsibilities to take care of that He has given us!  The Proverbs 31 woman was not praised for her skill in cross stich or decoupage.  The Titus 2 woman is encouraged to be "busy at home...so that no one will malign the word of God (5).  I love what the notes in my Bible say about this passage....

"This is the purpose of godly conduct - to eliminate any reproach on Scripture.  For a person to be convinced God can save from sin, one needs to see someone who lives a holy life.  When Christians claim to believe God's Word but do not obey it, the Word is dishonored.  Many have mocked God and His truth because of the sinful behavior of those who claim to be Christians."

When we Christians sound just like the world in regard to the role of motherhood - that it's something that we need to get away from, even for a short while - we aren't convincing any non-Christian to revere God's word when it says,

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.  Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth.  Happy is the man who has a quiver full of them."  Psalm 127:3-5

And we certainly aren't making it any easier for the daughters and sons we are raising to revere parenthood when we complain in front of them to other adults that "the kids are driving me crazy" or "I just need some time away!"  Like Paul wrote in Philippians, we are given a task to do by God, and we can't spend our time wondering what else we can do besides that task. Paul wrote in 3:13-14, "Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." 

Paul is specifically talking about becoming holy with this passage, but I think it can be applied here since we can never become more holy by making outside interests more important than the job He has given us to do while we're here.  I have to constantly pray and ask God to give me His vision for my role here at home as a wife and mother.  I can't keep the focus without Him, and I certainly couldn't be happy in my role without His encouragement.

Oooooof!

I got a kick in the stomach through a gumball on Christmas Day.  Or maybe a punch in the arm?  Either way, another lesson learned.  :-)

We don't chew gum here at our house.  Sounds silly to most, I know, but there are a few reasons why I would prefer my kids not to chew it:

1) sugar.  I know, I know.  We can't totally avoid sugar, and we don't go out of our way to do so, but it's easy to avoid sugar in something like gum - a nonessential.

2) aspartame.  The fake sweetener is just as obnoxious as the real sweetener.

3) food coloring.  I hate food coloring.  It is SO unnecessary!  Take egg nog for instance.  I looked at the list of ingredients on egg nog at the grocery store this month, and it has Yellow #5 in it.  WHY????  For what purpose????  I ended up making our own egg nog here at home, and it was also yellow because of the egg yolks.  So why do the makers and sellers of egg nog feel the need to add yellow?  The Feingold folks can give anyone a good education about food coloring. 

4) I read a short blurb about gum chewing that explained that when we chew, our brains receive the signal to tell our bodies to start producing the acid needed for digestion which can wreak havoc with our tummies.  My husband struggles with GERD already.  I see no need to add to his troubles with this, or expose our kids who might have the same weakness, to possible trouble for a stick of gum.

So that's my reasoning over gum.  What a scrooge!  It's a piece of gum, right??????  Oh, well.

So the big lesson learned..........I've told the kids that gum is not all it's cracked up to be and that their Dad and I have decided to opt-out where it is concerned.  The problem is that we would only discuss it in the checkout line at Target when the kids see the gum and ask if they can have some.  So I spent all of two seconds telling them no, that it's bad, bad, bad for them. 

Well, my daughter bought a big thing of gumballs for her brother for Christmas with her AWANA bucks at the AWANA store.  My husband or I were not there with her while she was doing her shopping, and she wrapped all her gifts on her own.  I didn't say anything when my son opened her gift.  I mean, come on, I'm not going to ruin a good gift-opening moment like that!  But as I thought about it throughout the day, I realized that the reason that my daughter gave those gumballs to my son was because even though my husband and I prefer that the kids not chew gum, we had never really explained why we thought it was not the best choice to our kids. Communication was lacking, which led to a lack of conviction on my daughter's part.

This made me think back through my life as a Christian gal.  I went through a loooooong period of lukewarm Christianity because, quite honestly, a lack of communication on the who, what, where, when's and why's of what Christianity is all about.  I was just told what sort of Christian I needed to be, which was great, but without a roadmap to get me there, I was floundering all over the place.  I had no conviction, which led to many bad decisions that make me cringe to this day.  If only........!

So those goofy gumballs have given me a fresh reminder that I need to be communicating with my kids about all this stuff rather than just telling them to "do this" and "do that" because it's best for them.  Works as long as they stay two years old their whole lives!  But they are getting older, and are going to need SOMETHING to base their decisions to follow God or reject God when they leave our home, and I had better be about the business of supplying them with that something!  After all, I am one who must give an account of my work.

Boring Women

I bought a refrigerator magnet when I was in college that said, "Boring Women Have Immaculate Homes."  I was VERY proud of that magnet for many years and thought it was very funny.

I don't think it's a cute magnet anymore and this week I finally threw it away.  What exactly is so boring about a woman who wants to do all she can to care for her family by providing a clean place for them to live?  True, I don't spend as much time as I would like visiting with friends, volunteering outside the home, and my life as a hobbyist-anything is practically non-existent.  Does that mean I'm boring?  If it does, then too bad.  ;-) 

Back when I was a new mom, oh so many years ago, I remember hearing James Dobson say, "If you're bored as a mother, then you're not doing it right."  Eeeek!  I have never been able to forget that, so anytime I start to feel the "I'm bored" attitude creep in, I have to check myself!  After all, am I doing the mommy-thang for ME or for my husband and kids?  If I'm bored with my duties, then there's a problem with me, not the daily duties that I have. 

A little further on that train of thought......same thing applies to my attitude towards the kids.  If I'm at the end of my rope and just "can't go on" because the kids have pushed every button I have, is it really the kid's problem, or my own?  Here's how I've come to view it:

1) I'm the adult.  I should have things under control enough to realize that in training my children that not every day will be smooth sailing, and I just MIGHT have to revisit the same issues a few times.  HA!  It's all part of the discipling/training process.

2) If I'm throwing a fit because the kids are throwing fits and misbehaving all day, then maybe the kids are learning their behavioral habits from me.  If I have a bad attitude towards the kids, then it's MY problem, not the kids.  If I can remember that, then all is well, because then I am constantly on my knees to God about my kids and about myself, and I can usually handle most of what comes my way in a calm, cool, and collected manner.  It makes all the difference!

My home is not immaculate, but I'm not ashamed to say that I strive for that worthy goal!  As mothers and wives, it is a privilege to care for our husbands and children and let them know even in mundane ways such as cleaning a toilet that they are important, worthwhile investments of my time.  I pray and beg God that one day my children and husband will arise and call me blessed (Proverbs 31:27-28)!  They will never do that if I spend my time in self-serving pursuits.

So Happy Together

One of the blessings of being a homeschooling family is that we can sit down and eat a nice breakfast together.  I've gotten real serious about this in the last couple of years and am constantly on the lookout for some good breakfast recipes.  Cereal just doesn't stick to the ribs like a good, warm meal does.  :-) 

 

Of course I have a certain criteria that must be met for it to be considered a good breakfast recipe.  Well, only two things.  They are:

1)  It needs to be something that I can stir up in 15 minutes or less.  I do not have time in the mornings to stand over the stove cooking up a huge concoction.

2)  It needs to be healthy and filling.

 

Here are a couple of our favorites.

 

Baked Oatmeal

The day before:

Stir together

6 c. oatmeal

2 c. milk

In the morning:

Preheat oven to 350.

Mix together:

4 eggs

1 c. coconut oil

2 c. brown sugar

4 t. baking powder

2 t. salt

Stir in the oatmeal-milk mixture.  Pour into an 11x15 pan (I use my Pampered Chef bar pan) and bake for 25 minutes. 

YUMMMMYYYY!

 

German Pancake

1 c. flour (I use 1/2 c. wheat flour and 1/2 c. white flour)

1 T sugar

1 c. milk

6 eggs

1 t. vanilla

 

Preheat oven to 400.  Combine ingredients in a blender.  Liberally grease a 9x13 pan with coconut oil or butter.  Bake for 20-25 minutes.

 

This one is so pretty when it comes out of the oven, but it will fall, so make sure the kids are handy when you first open the oven.  :-)  I usually make two of these for our crew.

 

If you have any breakfast recipes that you like, send them my way!

 

Tackle-It Tuesday

 

 

It's easy for me to let my "to do" list get in the way of relationships.  I have been thinking about writing a blog about my husband, Darin, for a few weeks now, but just haven't gotten around to it.  This is an important blog entry to me, and I want to be sure it gets done, so this is my Tackle-It Tuesday job.

 

When Darin and I began homeschooling seven years ago, we were very naive about all that homeschooling would take.  I have a feeling that other new homeschoolers also have no clue about the extent of the commitment that homeschooling is.  It happens gradually as more kids come along, and as the older kids advance into higher grades.  I have heard that burnout among homeschoolers usually occurs around the seventh year and I feel very strongly that it is because of the increase in commitment that is required of the parents.  It can get to feel overwhelming - almost impossible.

 

I have never experienced these feelings of being overwhelmed for longer than a day or two and it is not because I am a cool cucumber.  ;-)  It is because I have the support of my husband in every area.  Let me count the ways.....(as if I actually have the room to tell you everything!)

 

1)  Darin does not think that homeschooling/child rearing only happens between the hours of 8:30 to 5:30.  He doesn't expect to leave for work, and come home to a spotless house or every school subject finished.  He understands that raising our children takes the ENTIRE day.  So when he comes home from work, he rolls up his sleeves and sets to work.  If I am in the middle of cooking dinner when he gets here, he does what he can to help me get finished.  During dinner he guides the conversation and keeps questionable body sounds (i.e., belches) to a minimum at the table.  After dinner he cleans the kitchen with the kids so I can slip off and work on a load of laundry, take a walk on the treadmill, or work on lesson plans.  He makes sure the kids get their baths, teeth brushed and are in their jammies.  You can imagine from this description of his evenings how I anticipate his arrival!  He is a blessing to me!

 

2)  Living on one income and homeschooling makes for a tight budget.  Darin has given up just about all the things he might do if I were out working and supplementing his income.  He doesn't play golf, go to hockey games, or buy every new computer game that comes out......we don't even have cable so he can't watch all the hockey that I know that he wants!  He does this so we will have what we need to purchase the books and curriculum needed for our three oldest that are schooling, as well as clothes, trips to the doctor......groceries!  Man, do growing boys EAT!

 

3)  There are many days that I don't see myself in the mirror after I get dressed in the morning.  I can look pretty disheveled by the end of the day and usually try to make it to the bathroom to update my ponytail before Darin gets home but don't always get there.  Then I don't think about it again until we have gotten the kids in bed and I'll say something like "Oh!  I must look terrible!"

Darin says, "No you don't.  You look good to me."

GOD BLESS HIM.  'Nuff said.

 

4)  Darin loves our children and desires to be a Godly example for our kids and works hard to do that.  He is never happy with the status quo and always seeks to improve his relationship with God so he can make a difference in the lives of our kids.  He also encourages me to be better in this area.

 

5)  Darin works at his relationships with our kids.  Without this, it would be extremely difficult to homeschool.  Darin is the anchor that holds everything we do together, and if the kids didn't understand that Darin loves them and expects a certain standard of behavior from them, my job would be ten times harder. 

The perfect example of his diligence in this area is his relationship with our oldest, Ben.  There are no two people more alike than Darin and Ben.  You know how it is when you're hanging out with someone with whom you have a lot in common - it can be a bit trying at times, and certainly Darin has expressed his frustrations with this, but he has never given up with Ben.  Now as soon as Darin comes home, Ben starts following him around, asking questions, wanting to play football/baseball/soccer in the backyard, watch the hockey game together.....anything.  He just wants to be with his Dad, and that is only because Darin has given what it takes to draw him close, rather than push him away with excuses like, "We will never get along because we're too much alike."

 

6)  He does chores around the house that are considered the "wifey chores" because he knows that I don't always have time to get to everything.  He cleans our carpets, ceiling fans, makes a darn good cookie, can cook a tasty meal, cleans our bathroom, cleans the kitchen every night.....all this in addition to his "manly chores."  Without his help in these areas, I would definitely become overwhelmed because I am a recovering neat freak (the kids are curing me of this problem ;-).

 

7)  Darin helps me teach the kids.  Again, it is impossible to squeeze every subject in during the day that we would like, so Darin has stepped in as our art teacher.  Two nights per month, he teaches them art, and not only is he teaching them art, but last week, just studied up on how to do a Picture Study with the kids!  (those of you who love CM know what this is) I have wanted him to do that for years.  This guy is so goooood!  I could just squoooosh him!  ;-)

 

I feel as if I could go on and on, but my blogging time is running low.  I am so thankful for Darin.  For the way we met, for the night when he proposed to me, and for the rainy day when we got married.  I feel so blessed.  Darin makes everything better with his sense of humor and his laid-back style.  He is the perfect guy for me.

 

Treasure Hunt

My friend, Julie, at At My Hearth, visited Firefly at Bioluminesence and read about the reading challenge she has posted on her blog.  Can you find five books in your house that you bought to read, but haven't read yet?  I haughtily told Julie on the phone that I had read every book in my house........well, I just went to make sure, and easily found five books that I've had for a while that I have not read.  So I guess I am going to join in with the others that take Firefly's challenge.  Here are the details:

(this button will take you to the original owner of the challenge. :-)

 

More...

"If you are anything like me your stack of purchased to-be-read books is teetering over. So for this challenge we would be reading 5 books that we have already purchased, have been meaning to get to, have been sitting on the nightstand and haven't read before. No going out and buying new books. No getting sidetracked by the lure of the holiday bookstore displays.

The bonus would be that we would finally get to some of those titles (you know you picked them for a reason!) and we wouldn't be spending any extra money over the holidays.

The time frame would be Nov. 1st until Jan. 30 and there will be some small, fun prizes awarded to random participants and/or those with clever review posts. There will be one random drawing for a prize to those who submit their list of books in the comment section by Nov. 15th but feel free to join any time. There will be another random drawing for those who submit five reviews by Jan. 30 for a small gift certificate to Amazon."

 

Here are the books I found on my shelf that I will read:

 

The Dark Tower and Other Stories by C.S. Lewis

Walking Wisely by Charles Stanley

Seasons of a Mother's Heart by Sally Clarkson

The Hospitality Commands by Alexander Strauch

Astronomy and the Bible by Donald B. DeYoung

 

It's late!  We've already lost 17 days, so we all better get to cracking those books!  ;-)

How to Teach Your Child to Come

Reading Michael and Debi Pearl's newsletter this month, I found a wonderful thing that I have put into place here in our home and I am already seeing the fruit!  Here is an excerpt from the article that I read, titled "Training a Child to Come".

 

"When Gracie was first born, every time I picked her up I would say, “Come to mama.”  This simple, cheerful command was conditioning my tiny baby to come to me in response to my voice. She came to associate the command with feelings of being close to me. Even though at one week old she had no idea what “Come to mama” meant, nonetheless, she quickly came to identify the sound, rhythm, and tone of my voice with the pleasure of being drawn to me.  I hoped that after she became mobile and heard my command to come, she would respond without hesitation, and at 22 months of age, it has worked beautifully. And it is a good thing I got the jumpstart on training, because everyone will tell you that Gracie is the most impetuous and independent of all the nine Pearl grandkids."

 

I started doing this with our 7-month-old about three weeks ago.  Everytime I pick him up, I say, "Come to Mama."  Then I give him a big squoosh when I pick him up.  :-)  And now when he's playing on the floor and I want him to come to me, I say, "Come to Mama!" and he takes off across the floor to me with a big ol' smile!  I never had this with our three other kids. 

 

Darin, my husband, has not been saying, "Come to Daddy" when he picks up Henry.  So to test this thing, Darin called to Henry to "Come to Daddy," but Henry did not come without a lot of coaxing.  Then a few minutes later I called for him to come and he came without a moment's hesitation!  Darin is now saying "Come to Daddy" when he picks-up Henry.  ;-) 

Tackle-It Tuesday

 

 

Our timeline for school has been through some rough times in the last few months.  Pieces of it have fallen down and ended up scattered here and there through the house.  This is the project I decided to take care of this week, with the help of my kids. 

 

The timeline pieces have been a cluttery mess on my desk for too long.  Never mind the stuff I had to clear off the desk in order to take this picture.  ;-)

 

 

And then of course there was King George III on my bathroom wall.....

 

Here is the timeline before.  You can see where it needs work!

 

I got my kids busy with this one, and we used this for our history lesson today.  First I had the kids take off the old, nasty tape from the pieces that were stuck together on my desk.  Then my oldest put the lines back in order on the wall (I was in charge of tape!).  Then I quizzed all three on each of the timeline figures before we put them back on the timeline.  I gave a clue about who the figure was, and they each tried to guess.  They usually got it right.  Then I had them each tell me one thing they remembered about each character.  I was amazed at the details they remembered about each person.  Don't anyone tell ME that textbooks are superior to living books!  ;-)

 

Here is the finished job!  I am so glad to have those stinkin' strips of timeline off my desk and on the wall!

Proverbs 18:19

"A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city,

And contentions are like the bars of a castle."

 

The notes in my MacArthur Study Bible say, "There are no feuds as difficult to resolve as those with  relatives; no barriers are so hard to bring down.  Hence, great care should be taken to avoid such conflicts."

 

Who hasn't experienced this???  I see it in my kids every day, and have felt the pain of it myself with my own brothers and sister at one time or another. 

 

PRAY for your children.  PRAY that they will not EVER develop a rift that is too wide to cross to each other.  Their relationship as brothers and sisters will make or break their relationships with everyone else with which they will come into contact.

 

I like to pray using Proverbs 16:24.  It says,

"Pleasant words are like a honeycomb,

Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones."

I will say, "God, I pray that my children will understand that 'pleasant words to each other are like a honeycomb that will provide sweetness to the souls and health to the bones of each other."

 

Do know that prayers like this aren't always answered in a week's time.  It may take years to see the fruit of a prayer like this, but God is faithful and will answer!

Tie a String Around Your Finger

I'm finding that I have to learn the same things over and over again.  I am amazed at how I learn something and I think I will never be the same again and then a year or so later, I come across the same thing and say, "OHHHH, yeah!!!  I forgot about that!" 

 

I did that with an article that I wrote for a homeschool support group that I used to lead.  I was going through my old documents, reading some of the articles I wrote when I came across one titled Handwriting on the Wall.  I wrote about what our priority should be when it comes to homeschooling.  After a pregnancy, birth, new baby, and a new student in our school (our six-year-old, Jack), I was feeling the pressure of trying to get everything "done" (can that word REALLY be allowed in a homeschooling mom's vocabulary????) when this article reminded me to keep my kids and my vision pointed towards God.

 

But I guess God didn't think I remembered my lesson well enough.  The kids and I are going through a "Read the Bible in a Year" plan.  We just finished Exodus last week.  When we got to Exodus 35 I was hit with another "OHHHH, yeah!" moment.  Verses 30-35 say:

"And Moses said to the children of Israel, 'See, the Lord has called by name Bezalel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah; and He has filled him with the Spirit of God, in wisdom and understanding, in knowledge and all manner of workmanship, to design artistic works, to work in gold and silver and bronze, in cutting jewels for setting, in carving wood, and to work in all manner of artistic workmanship.

'And he has put in his heart the ability to teach, in him and Aholiab the son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan.  He has filled them with skill to do all manner of work of the engraver and the designer and the tapestry maker, in blue, purple, and scarlet thread, and fine linen, and of the weaver - those who do every work and those who design artistic works.'"

 

Sometimes I start to worry about if the kids will have the skills they need to get a job and support themselves and a family.  I think about this mostly when I am reminded about the few outside activities our kids are involved in.  Here in D/FW, kids are run ragged from one event to another, and that is just not mine and Darin's style.  ;-)  We want family time.  We want dinners together.  We want our kids to have something in common beyond Darin and me being their parents, and they can only get that if they spend time together schooling, playing, working, being bored....but I still have moments of doubt, when I wonder if we should take co-op classes, Tae Kwan Do, sports camps, church camps, music camps, plain ol' regular camps  HA! 

 

But God is good to remind me that He is in control.  I know He created my children with a purpose in mind and that if Darin and I spend our time teaching our kids to seek Him, he will reward them and us with Himself and ultimately reveal His plan for our service and the skills to carry it out - one way or another.  My Dad told me about a man who became a preacher, but didn't know how to read.  Doh!  That would be important!  So he prayed and asked God to help him read, and God gave him the wisdom to read.  Gladys Aylward wanted to be a missionary to China, but was kicked out of missionary school!  Doh!  But God had already given her the skills He wanted her to have as a missionary in China.  She had been a maid in England, and when she finally arrived in China under her own steam, what did she do?  Maid duty!  Who knew?????  So kewl!

 

Two great books that are a wonderful encouragement in this area are Safely Home by Tom Eldredge and When You Rise Up by R.C. Sproul, Jr.  If you feel sometimes-inadequate as a homeschooling parent, these are the books to encourage you on your journey.  I hope I have also encouraged you!  :-)

Tackle-It Tuesday

 

 

Well, I can't seem to follow the rules and do anything the way it's supposed to be done, but I guess there is always a method to my madness.  I visited my friend Julie over at At My Hearth last week, and she had completed a Tackle-It Tuesday.  I loved the idea because this is the way I try to get to things in my house - a little at a time, since I always only have a little bit of time here and there that I can spare to special cleaning projects.

 

Anyway...

I was inspired to do a Tackle-It Tuesday, and was considering a few different jobs I could tackle.  But I kept thinking about the time it would take to tackle it on a Tuesday, which is a schoolday around here, and I just hated to try to find the time to set aside to get it done - in between regular chores, nursing the baby, helping the kids with their schoolwork, meals, and whatever else came up.  I kept picturing my kids floating around and being unproductive (can't have THAT!) while I was immersed in purging the clutter from my home. 

 

So...

I decided to do my Tackle-It Tuesday on Friday night while the kids and my husband, Darin, were at an Awana pizza party.  I stayed home with the baby.  Usually I would fill this "extra" time with scrapbooking, reading, knitting....something fun!  But I was determined to tackle the dresser in my bedroom.  It was piled-up with clothes that the kids have outgrown, a dress-up dress that needed mending, books, misc. papers, some of Darin's clothes that he had taken off and was going to put away "later."  There were also clothes in Target bags scattered around the dresser that needed to be stored for later.  Basically, a HUGE mess that I had been looking at all week, wondering when I would find the time to tackle the job.  So Friday night was the night.

 

But...

I sent our digital camera with Darin so he could take pictures of the kids while they were playing Awana games and hanging out with their pals.  That almost stopped me from doing the job because I really did want to have a Before and After picture, but I plowed on, and did it without a Before picture.  I only have an After picture, and here it is.  Doesn't it look GREAT?????  You'll have to take my word for it that it was a total, dreary mess.

 

 

 

I used the time I would have normally tackled my mess to spend outside with the kids.The picture below is Lydia, Ben and our dog, Joy.

 

This is Jack.  He doesn't like to get his picture taken, so I had to chase him down into the garage for this one.  If I hadn't zoomed in, you would have been able to see another Tackle-It Tuesday project for the future!

Be Faithful

A few years ago, while reading A Charlotte Mason Companion, I came across a wonderful bit of advice from Karen Andreola, and I have tried to follow it faithfully.  It has made all the difference in our home on Monday mornings!

 

"Years ago, I made the mistake of allowing my young children time off from certain good actions on the weekend before certain habits were solidly formed.  My failing became apparent to me when I discovered that - like the month of March - Monday morning came in like a lion!  To insure that Monday comes in like a lamb, those weekday actions of neatness, politeness, obedience, must be employed on the weekend, too.  A new goal for me was: Let good actions not become relaxed on the weekends.  Only then would these good actions become good habits." (73)

 

Our kids do have the regular daily chores on Saturday, but on Sundays we relax and only ask that the kids make up their beds, keep their rooms neat, and do their daily pick-ups (in our house, that means picking-up things in an assigned room and putting them away).

 

Sow an act, reap a habit,

sow a habit, reap a character,

sow a character, reap a destiny.

- Thomas a Kempis

Leading Little Ones to God?

Darin and I take our kids into the church service with us.  We don't do Sunday School.  We used to until about two years ago.  Two years ago we did not have a baby, and now, OH BABY! we do!  It's been easy to take him into the service with us until the last month or so.  He's now seven months, and is turning into a bizzee, bizzee, bizzee little boy.  So I did what any responsible little mama would do when preparing for church for a seven month old.  PACKED OUT the diaper bag with all the neatest and quietest toys we have.  But Henry wasn't interested in ANY of the toys I brought for more than 10 seconds.  So in a desperate move, I pulled out the tube of diaper creme.  Amazing!  He loved it!  That was a great distraction for about 15 minutes, so next I moved on to the little pouch-thingy that is in the bag to keep needed things dry, like extra outfits.  He loved it!  Out next was our insurance card and then finally the top flap of the diaper bag.  By the time his interest was waning in this, church was over.

 

So this week as I have been making my way through our house, I've had my eyes open for fun things for Henry to play with during church.  So far I've found a wristwatch that needs a new battery, a magnet that I have on the refrigerator that says, "Boring Women Have Immaculate Homes," and a plastic spoon that I found in our silverware drawer.  Maybe if these things don't have the draw I'm hoping for, I can fall back on the tube of diaper creme.  Any other suggestions?  

His Grace

Chapter 1 - The Ministry of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson

 

"In all of this, however, I must acknowledge, as Peter learned, that it's not all up to me.  (I am doing a jig after reading these words!!!!)  The Author of grace will himself draw my children to Him, even as He did Peter, as I rest in His ability to work through the life of my family.  Perfection is not a standard He requires of me as a mother, for His grace extends to me as well as to my children.  My heartfelt trust in Him will be the fuel that energizes my days as I see Him draw my children through this gift (grace) that will serve them their whole lives." (pg. 29)

 

God's grace is something that is so hard for me to remember most days because it seems I am in constant motion, going from one chore/school subject/meal/mess to clean up/disagreement to referee after another.  There are days, like today, when I get to the end, and I feel as if I am failing.  The three older kids are all at that wonderful age when they want to exert their "knowledge," and this one-upmanship leads to many wars of words between them.  It wears me out and I get to the point where I feel as if *I* will never be able to teach them to live in peace.  ;-)

 

So tonight after putting the kids in bed, I only wanted to sit and stare, but ended up picking up this book instead and reading this wonderful news of God's grace!  I guess it all goes back to prayer, prayer and more prayer (how many times have I had to be reminded of that????), and I absolutely feel more light after being reminded of God's All-Powerful Hand that is involved in our lives.  :-)  Reminds me of Isaiah 40:11.

 

He tends His flock like a shepherd:

He gathers the lambs in His arms

and carries them close to His heart;

He gently leads those that have young.

Baby's Breath

 

Next time you have a baby in your hands, hold him up to your ear and listen to him breathe.  It will melt away all the stresses of the day and remind you of your rich blessings.

Sinners in the Hands of an Angry Mom

I was listening to our local Christian station the other night as I drove home from the grocery store.  For the life of me, I can't remember who was speaking, but I heard something that I have been carrying around with me since that night.  The speaker said that when Jonathan Edwards delivered his sermon, Sinners in the Hands of An Angry God, he did it without the pastoral theatrics that we have sometimes been exposed to. 

 

I think I read this sermon back in college.  You can imagine that I don't remember much about it.  I doubt I was interested in what was in front of me at the time, so I got on the web to read the sermon again, and I have to say that if there were any sermon that was set-up to be delivered by a yeller/pacer, then this one is it.  Just the title of the message alone would give anyone plenty of material for theatrics!  Read this exerpt in your finest T.V. evangelist voice:

 

"The bow of God's wrath is bent, and the arrow made ready on the string, and justice bends the arrow at your heart, and strains the bow, and it is nothing but the mere pleasure of God, and that of an angry God, without any promise or obligation at all, that keeps the arrow one moment from being made drunk with your blood. Thus all you that never passed under a great change of heart, by the mighty power of the Spirit of God upon your souls; all you that were never born again, and made new creatures, and raised from being dead in sin, to a state of new, and before altogether unexperienced light and life, are in the hands of an angry God."

 

Now that's some heavy stuff!  There's a lot more where that came from.

 

This sermon was a huge influence in the Great Awakening in the early 1700's, and it was all done without any yelling and screaming. 

 

So what has been at the back of my mind these last few days is this: if Jonathan Edwards can deliver this sermon without theatrics and loud voice, and have the members of his congregation begging God for forgiveness, what's to stop me from speaking to my own kids without theatrics (you know what I mean!) and receiving the same results?  Why can't I be a parent who never raises my voice to my children and yet gets immediate results when I speak?  I really don't see why I can't.  Here are my reasons why:

1) I'll bet a TON of prayer went into this sermon before it was written, while it was written, after it was written, before it was delivered, during its delivery and after its delivery. 

I'll bet if I increase my prayer life in this area of childrearing, I won't be able to NOT see results.

2) To be more specific about Jonathan Edwards' prayers about this sermon, I'll bet he prayed for God to speak to the hearts of his congregation.  I'll bet he prayed for God to SAVE his congregation. 

Am I always asking God for these things for my children?  No.  Just every now and then.  I'll bet I could change that!

3) The Word of God is active!  Jonathan Edwards used God's Word, the Bible, to reach his congregation. 

I pull out my Bible every now and then with the kids when there are behavior issues, but not nearly enough.  God's Word can take the place of my theatrics and do a much better job than I ever could.

 

So now I just need to pray for myself.  Pray that God would set my soul on fire for discipling my children without raising my voice, and feeling justified in doing so.

 

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:1-8

 

 

Top Ten Goals

With my last order from Sonlight they sent a little package of bookmarks that I appreciate.  There are ten, and on each one is a goal for homeschooling.  Well, I think that these can be applied to more than just homeschooling parents.  Here they are, in true David Letterman fashion, starting with #10:

 

10.  Raise culturally literate students.

       1 Chronicles 12:32 "Understand the times and know what to do about them."

9.  Create a love for quality literature - books that cause students to think deeply,

     feel passionately, and prepare themselves for action.

    Philippians 4:8 "Dwell on whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable..."

8.  Inspire students by example, to do thorough, competent research...to fulfill the   

     work of true scholars.

     Colossians 3:17, 23 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as

     working for the Lord."

7.  Teach students through experience, that God is faithful; they can listen to other

     perspectives without falling into sin or having their faith destroyed.

     1 John 4:4 "Overcome...because the one who is in you is greater."

6.  Teach students not only biblical content, but how to listen as well - to understand

     first and judge second.

     James 1:19 "Be quick to listen, slow to speak."

5.  Train children to become engaging and effective ambassadors for Christ.

     2 Corinthians 5:20 "As though God were making His appeal through us."

4.  Inspire students to honor Christ boldly - in speech and conduct.

     Luke 12: 8-9 "Whover publich acknowledges me, I will also acknowledge

     before the angels."

3.  Encourage children to honor God's "Great Commission" by acquiring an

     international perspective and a godly heart for the world.

     Matthew 28:18-20 "Make disciples of all nations."

2.  Create a learner's heart, enthusiasm and excitement for learning - a desire to

     discover.

     Proverbs 3:13-15 "Wisdom is more profitable than silver and yields better

     returns than gold."

1.  Teach students to seek God's Kingdom above and beyond everything else.

     Matthew 6:33 "Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness."

 

There is a little more said about these goals on the Sonlight site here. 

 

Another great resource for goal-setting for our kids is Ten Things to Do with Your Child Before Age Ten by Harvie and Laurie Bluedorn.  And even if your kids are past the age of ten, it's never too late to go back and try to correct a few things.  ;-)

Change Your Mind

Darin and I started homeschooling our kids seven years ago.  After homeschooling for about a year, I came across Charlotte Mason and Teaching the Trivium.  I love both of the approaches these two methods take.  There are many out there who claim to be CM/TTT in their teaching style.  I haven't necessarily been able to claim that I am one to exclusively follow these methods as I wanted because life was so busy which made it difficult to be able to really sit down and think hard about how I wanted to fully implement these methods into our school.  I have followed these methods as much as I can without being deeply intimate with them. 

 

For example, we have always done copywork, dictation and a bit of narration.  We went more quickly with math than TTT recommends, but slower than is normally recommended - if that makes any sense!  Ben and I studied a bit of Greek when he was in second grade.  We have labored hard to keep their character and Bible studies under the "most important" category.  We try to read aloud almost two hours per day, and finally, introduced our oldest to the study of Logic when he was 10 (now 11) using Building Thinking Skills.

 

With that said, there are so MANY areas that I have really wanted to improve upon.  Nature walks for one.  This has a tendency to perplex me.  I have a hard time viewing a Dallas suburb as a gateway to nature.  I realize I have to get over this one, as well as invest in a couple of good nature guides.  ;-)

 

Delayed math.  Like I said, with Ben, we went more slowly, then with Lydia, we didn't do much until she hit the last part of second grade.  Now we are using Horizons Math with them both.  Jack is in first grade and I thought, "Finally,  will get a chance to do this delayed math thing!"  I was teaching him without a curriculum.  He learned how to count by 10's, 5's, and 2's, we have been having conversations here and there about money, and we have been working on his addition math facts.  But he sees Ben and Lydia with their own math worksheets and wants that too!  So this weekend I broke down and bought him the first grade Horizons Math workbook.  He has already gone through it and done all of the money counting exercises. 

 

But what I wanted to write about was how for so long I didn't feel as if I would ever truly be able to incorporate all these wonderful CM/TTT ideas into our school, and had almost given up doing more than we already were doing, when I came across Karen Andreola's "Pocket Full of Pinecones" last January.  It was marked 75% of at Mardel, and I wasn't about to walk past a book marked 75% off.  I bought it, started reading it, and felt my brain starting to take a turn!  After finishing reading it, I moved on to "Handbook of Nature Study" I stalled out here with Nature Studies because it was summer and way too hot to be tramping around outside.  Now it is finally fall, and we have taken a few short walks to observe the world around us.  It was nice!  I have joined a CMyahoogroup and a TTT yahoogroup.  Both of these groups are reading material that supports each method and I can finally feel the breakthrough coming that I've always wanted.

 

DISCLAIMER: The following statement is going to sound SO LAME.  I mean, this is probably something you probably already knew, and I probably already knew, but to experience it that way I have has been eye-opening!

 

Okay.  So what I have discovered is that I cannot read CM books and TTT just ONCE and be ready to jump in with both feet.  I have to continually educate myself in these methods to truly be successful in teaching the way these two methods recommend.  I've accepted the fact that for the rest of my homeschooling career, I will have to constantly be reading something about CM and TTT methods, or I will eventually "lose it."  Reminds me of being a Christian!  Without reading my Bible I will eventually lose my "salt and light" and be worthless.  And to think, that it took me seven years of homeschooling to figure this one out.  Oyve!  ;-)  I'm so excited, thinking about the fact that Henry is only six-months-old!  Fresh material!!!!  LoL

Teaching the Trivium

Darin and I are kinda-sorta reading through Teaching the Trivium with an online yahoogroup.  We are in chapter three, the rest of the group is on chapter seven????  Something like that.  :-) 

 

Anyway, I love some of the quotes that are in this chapter.  They were very prophetic as you'll see.

 

"I am sure as I am of Christ's reign, that a comprehensive and centralized system of national education, separated from religion, as is now commonly proposed, will prove the most appalling enginery for the propagation of anti-Chrisitan and atheistic unbelif, and of antisocial nihilistic ethics, individual, social, and political, which this sin rent world has ever seen."

A.A. Hodge, Princeton Theologian, circa 1869

 

Here are a few from the "other" side.

 

"Education is thus a most powerful ally of Humanism, and every American public school is a school of Humanism.  What can the theistic Sunday schools, meeting for an hour a week and teaching only a fraction of the children, do to stem the tide of a five-day program of humanistic teaching?"

Charles F. Potter in the Humanist magazine, 1930

 

"I am convinced that the battle for humankind's future must be waged and won in the public school classroom by teachers who correctly perceive their role as the proselytizers of a new faith: a religion of humanity....The teacher must embody the same selfless dedication as the most rabid fundamentalist preachers, for they will be ministers of another sort, utilizing a classroom instead of a pulpit....The classroom must and will become an arena of conflict between the old and the new - the rotting corpse of Christianity, together with all its adjacent evils and misery, and the new faith of humanism."

John Dunphy in the Humanist magazine, Jan/Feb 1983

Elisabeth Elliot

I love Elisabeth Elliot.  I receive her daily devotional from Back to the Bible.  You can go here to subscribe to it, and others if you are interested.  Here is today's devotional.  It was encouraging to me because I do try to keep after the kids about little things, but sometimes I feel like such a nag!  ;-)

 

Author: Elisabeth Elliot
Source: Keep A Quiet Heart
Scripture: Luke 16:10-12 

Shop for Elisabeth Elliot Resouces

Little Things

When we were growing up our parents taught us, by both word and example, to pay attention to little things. If you do a thing at all, do it thoroughly: make the sheets really smooth on the bed, sweep all the comers and move all the chairs when you sweep the kitchen, roll the toothpaste tube neatly and put the cap back on, clean the hair out of your brush each time you use it, hang your towel straight on the rod, fold your napkin and put it into the silver ring before you leave the table, never wet your finger when you turn pages. They kept promises made to us as faithfully as they kept those made to adults. They taught us to do the same.

You didn't accept an invitation to a party and then not turn up, or agree to help with the Vacation Bible School and back out because a more interesting activity presented itself. The only financial debt my parents ever incurred was a mortgage on a house, which my father explained was in a special class because it was real estate which would always have value.

When I went to boarding school the same principles I had been taught at home were emphasized. There was a hallway with small oriental rugs which we called "Character Hall" because the headmistress, Mrs. DuBose, could look down that hall from the armchair where she sat in the lobby and spot any student who kicked up the comer of a rug and did not replace it. She would call out to correct him, "It's those tiny little things in your life which will crack you up when you get out of this school!" In the little things our character was revealed. Our response would make or break us. "Don't go around with a Bible under your arm if you didn't sweep under the bed," she said, for she would have no pious talk coming out of a messy room.

"Great thoughts go best with common duties. Whatever therefore may be your office regard it as a fragment in an immeasurable ministry of love" (Bishop Brooke Foss Westcott, b. 1825).

It is not easy to find children or adults who are dependable, careful, thorough, and faithful. So many lives seem honeycombed with small failures, neglectful of the little things that make the difference between order and chaos. Perhaps it is because they are so seldom taught that visible things are signs of an invisible reality; that common duties may be "an immeasurable ministry of love." The spiritual training of souls must be inseparable from practical disciplines, as Jesus so plainly taught; "The man who can be trusted in little things can be trusted in great; the man who is dishonest in little things will be dishonest in great. If then you cannot be trusted with money, that tainted thing, who will trust you with genuine riches! And if you cannot be trusted with what is not yours, who will give you what is your very own?" (Luke 16:10-12, JB). (The footnote to "your very own" says, "Jesus is speaking of the most intimate Possessions a man can have; these are spiritual.")

 

 

But....Why Can't I.....I Don't Want To!

Our kids are very argumentative with Darin and me.  There is a lot of "but I....", "first I need to.....", "why?" and "I don't want to" stuff coming back at us at a rate that is much higher and out of control than it needs to be!  Well, ANY of that is too much.  :-)  I think part of the problem here is that Darin and I have ANSWERED their protests.  We have been encouraging their unneccesary conversation by arguing back WITH them.  Darin and I talked about it last night, and we both realized that we get sucked into this sort of response without even noticing.  We are praying about being more diligent in this area, rather than just going with the flow of conversation.  We cannot allow the kids to rule in this area!

 

Most painful for me is the realization that *I* argue back with Darin on many occasions.  Growing up, I was one of those "WHY??????" kids.  I always had to know why, or I wanted my parents to understand what *I* thought, and so many times kept presenting my view past the time I was allowed.  I'm afraid that I have contributed to our problem with the kids right now.  A very humbling thought.  But I realize that this has transferred over to my adult life, and I can hear myself saying, "But why can't we do this because we need such-and-such?"  Darin will respond with a perfectly sane reason for why not, and I continue to push my own idea because I think my idea is also perfectly sane.  Well, it may be a perfectly good idea, but if Darin does not think so, then that should be the end of the conversation from me!  I should not be pushing it!  And I wonder how many times the kids have heard me push things with Darin like that.  :-/  I can't even begin to imagine.  I am mortified.

 

God spoke to me about this yesterday as I was reading an article by Reb Bradley.  It is titled Blind Spots of the Submissive Wife.  So today I have been prayerfully keeping my mouth shut.  All those years of "just presenting another side to the argument" is a weight on my back that I am dying to get rid of, but I have allowed this to become such an ingrained habit. This one will be painful to break. 

 

Just last night I wrote this verse into Ben's album, and I think I need to remind myself of it every day as I seek to root out this habit that hurts our family: "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."  Galatians 6:9.

The Calling of Motherhood

Introduction - The Ministry of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson

 

Sally wrote:

"I had spent the last ten years of my life in the ministry of making disciples from people I met in the world.  Now Sarah and any future children would become the focus of my ministry.  What an awesome realization it was that God had entrusted this precious little soul into my hands to seek to influence for His kingdom, so that she could become His disciple and continue passing the baton of righteousness to others who came into her life."

AND

"How amazed and thankful I am to see God producing in all my children's lives a love for Him and a maturity that could be cultivated only by the Holy Spirit.  It all started naturally in our own home as we sought to follow God's pattern for discipleship shown through the life of Christ.  I am convinced it was all a part of His plan to use my home as a place of ministry."

AND

"It all began when I was able to embrace with joy the ministry of motherhood."

 

I have gone through many stages during my 11 years of parenting.  Starting with the pregnancy, when I just assumed I would go back to work when "the baby" was born.  All that changed when Ben was born.  I couldn't do it.  I was changed by his presence, and my only desire was to be his mom.  Work did not matter anymore.  Then Darin and I learned about homeschooling.  We began homeschooling for what I think are naive reasons.  We wanted to have more control over Ben's schooling, we wanted his education to include God, we didn't want him to get shot by a mixed-up classmate while eating lunch.....;-)

 

As we got deeper into homeschooling, and as Ben got older, we realized that we couldn't parent the way we were parented.  We both saw very little of our parents growing up, mostly because we were busy with school and friends all day.  An hour or two in the evenings with the fam didn't give much time for deep relationships or much discipling.  We realized that in order to TRULY teach Ben, we would need a different kind of relationship.  It was at this point, we began to understand that parenting is a ministry - a calling.

 

This past March my parents were here for two weeks to help out during the birth of our 4th, Henry.  My dad and I were running an errand, and he was questioning me about our thoughts behind having "so many" kids.  Very funny, from a man who has six of his own!  Of course that's a whole OTHER topic for discussion.  ;-) 

 

ANYWAY....

 

Some of the things he said seemed to imply that Darin and I didn't understand the committment involved in having children.  I can't quite figure out where he got that idea.  We already had three.  Darin and I are very involved in their lives, so it's not as if we expect a nanny to come in and take care of everything for us.  Anyway, I was telling him we fully understood the committment we were making when we decided to allow God to decide the size of our family.  I shared with him how I, as a mother, understood all that would be required of my time, but that I felt as if it was (dare I SAY it) MY PLACE to be at home with the kids, teaching them, reaching out to them, caring for them.  I told him that our family is a way of life for Darin and me.  We don't have a "life" with kids on the side.  We have each other, and our kids, which make our family, and that's what we're about.  Family.  Dad said, "You sound as if this is a calling."  BINGO!  It is. 

 

God has given Darin and me such a passion to be parents to Ben, Lydia, Jack and Henry.  It is our ministry.  It's fun to think of the many people that we can reach for Christ through our children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren.... We didn't start off with a great vision that Sally Clarkson did.  We were not exactly spiritually ready when we first had Ben, so we have had a long row to hoe over the years, but God has been faithful as we have prayed over and over for the vision He has for us as parents.  I am really looking forward to getting into Sally's book.  I don't feel as if I can get too much info on this thing called MOTHERHOOD.