What Making?

Grace, our 22 month old, always asks, "What making, Mama?"  What a great question.  I've started using her question to hold me accountable to be "making" something at all times.  It's easy to become distracted by so many things and forget that I've made a conscious choice to be a full-time mother to my children.  Those days when I'm busy being distracted or unmotivated are the days when the kids are cranky and disobedient.  They can see what my level of committment is and respond accordingly. 

The days are short.  Time is flying by and my kids will be out of the house longer than they were in it and one day my actions will be tested by fire - will they withstand the heat, or burn with the chaff?  Thomas a Kempis wrote,

"Learn to obey, O dust! Learn to humble thyself, O earth and clay, and to bow thyself beneath the feet of all. Learn to crush thy passions, and to yield thyself in all subjection."

Can I?  Dare I give all my desires for leisure time away so that I can "lay down my life" for my children?  Can I humble myself and accept the head-shaking and finger-pointing when I tell someone I don't have a hobby because I've given it up for the greater good of raising my children?

But most importantly, can I put aside the pride I might feel about laying down my own desires for my children's needs and be a true instrument of God?  The November 7th entry from my God Calling book slapped me right between the eyes...

"Dwelling with Me, desiring only My Will and to do My work, My Spirit cannot fail to pass through the channel of your life into the lives of others.

Many think it is humility to say they do little, and are of little value to My world.  To think that is pride.

What if the pipe were to say, "I do so little, I wish I could be more use."  The reply would be "It is not you, but the water that passes through you, that saves and blesses.  All you have to do is to see there is nothing to block the way so that the water cannot flow through."

The only block there can be in your channel is self.  Keep that out, and know that My Spirit is flowing through.  Therefore all must be the better for coming in contact with both of you, because you are channels.  See this, and you will think it natural to know they are being helped, not by you, but by My Spirit flowing through you as a channel."

Pumpkin Lapbook

I've been dealing with mastitis this week.  Being sick can be a very productive time for me and this time is not any different.  While I did spend a lot of time sleeping while the kids played outside in the tents they dragged down from the attic, I also did a little internet surfing.  Once they come back in from playing, the babes are usually grouchy and tired, so sleeping is over for me.  ;-)  Last week, I printed out an insect lapbook to begin with Henry, Sophia and Grace.  Well.  Not very good timing on my part considering it's getting cold outside and the insects are hiding!  So we are going to put that one aside until spring.  I'm brilliant.
Anyway...today I printed out, cut and organized needed supplies for a Pumpkin Lapbook that we will begin tomorrow.  I feel mostly better and am tired of laying around and not being with my kids.  I so love being with them. 

Here's a link to the lapbook if you're interested.  Interesting lapbooks written and compiled by Melissa Telling.

Useful House

Yesterday Darin filled the house with dust as he sanded down some spots he is repairing on our walls.  Really, it's overwhelming when we start to look around at the various spots on the walls that need repair.  There are a couple of places where a lacrosse ball has left it's mark, then there's the time when Darin repaired Henry's bike tire in the house.  Henry was so excited he rode it up and down the hallway when it was fixed - then ran into the wall with the handlebars.  Ouch!  Rollerblading, hockey, chasing the dog, basketball...our entryway and hallway just calls for these activities.

The last few weeks, I've been overwhelmed as I've been trying to juggle all our stuff around.  We are gearing up for a renovation of our entire downstairs.  New floors, kitchen cabinets, paint, and floorplan.  Our growing family no longer fits in the plan that we have.  With all the books, school things, toys, and clothes, I am almost at my wits end at making a place for everything.  If only we didn't need beds - think of all the bookshelves we could put where the beds are.  Every inch of our house is being used.  This irritated me at first because I was frustrated.  I felt as if I were standing in the middle of a room with my arms full of stuff and no where to take it.  Then I thought about all the houses with the kids and parents that are gone all day, the rooms that are unused and yet filled with furniture that never gets sat on.  There is not one room or chair or bed that doesn't get full use in our house every day and in the end, I can't help but think what a blessing that is. 

Sisters :-)

Lydia and I just took the "Which Austen Heroine Are You?" quiz.  Here are our results.  I am Elinor Dashwood.

Take the Quiz here!

Here are Lydia's results.

Take the Quiz here!

Lydia is on a big Jane Austen kick these days.  And of course I am toturing her by making her read each book before she is allowed to watch any of the movies.  heh heh  Really.  I think that should always be the way it works, don't you?  So far she has read "Emma" and is now reading "Pride and Prejudice".

A Saturday at Our House

Sitting around, waiting to recuperate from the miscarriage has really tried my patience!  I am not one to sit around and enjoy it, but I have had fun re-connecting with my scrapbooking supplies.  I've knitted us a new dishrag, organized myself for the co-op class I'll be teaching this year (Apologia General Science), written more blog entries in a week's time than I think I have all year, and plowed through a couple of BBC miniseries on Netflix...Middlemarch and The Buccaneers.  I enjoyed Middlemarch, but not The Buccaneers...Edith Wharton is "sleazy Victorian" IMHO.  Anyway...the rest of the family have been busy too.  Here's some pics from this past Saturday.  We have had to find things to do inside because the heat outside is insane.



Darin has been planning on making grape jelly from the grapes he nurtured and picked from our backyard.  He is a true manly-man...not afraid of seeming unmanly just because he's doing "woman's work."

Grapes!

The beginnings of building a bridge out of craft sticks.  Henry's personal goal for the weekend.

This little beauty lives to color.

Building...

Straining grapes and seeds from the juice.

Me...in between knitting and scrapping.  I love the flattering angle of the picture taken by one of our favorite knee-biters. ;-)

This dirty looking stuff is really grape juice!

Wait...the day isn't over yet.  Gingerbread men!  And maybe a heart or butterfly here and there.

Love them!

Reading a good book.

Grape jelly!

Time for a swim.

Finished dishrag...kinda ugly, but I guess it'll get the dishes clean.

I've been sitting around, wondering just how it was that I filled my days before now.  What was I so busy doing?  Well, the good news is that I'm about to find out!  I can feel the old energy coming back.  I can't wait to get up and about again! 



Waiting

The hardest thing about the miscarriage for me is recuperating.  I can handle the fact that God chose to bring our baby home on His schedule and not mine.  I really can.  It is a little strange to finish a pregnancy and not have a little warm head to snuggle and kiss, but I am still so blessed with a little one to snuggle.  Grace is only 19 months and is still nursing.  I've never had a baby nurse so long - she shows no signs of wanting to give it up.  But again, I think of what a Providential thing that is.  I'm sure that Grace's nursing has helped me heal more quickly.  Just like the nursing of a newborn helps bring things back to shape.



Grace at 15 months



I did too much this past Monday.  Darin had a website launch at work and was working most of the week.  After a weekend of laying around, I felt ready to go!  So I did.  I did everything I would normally have done and by dinnertime I was feeling it.  So since Monday night I've been a slug in my bed or on the couch and I'm starting to feel the effects of that as well.  I'm ready (in MY mind) to get up and get busy, but Darin keeps gently placing his hand on my shoulders and giving me a shove back down.  ;-)  He's also keeping me supplied with Chai Tea from Starbucks - the man knows how to keep me as putty in his hands. 

Divided

Back in 2004, Darin and I started thinking about what a rat race church was becoming for us.  It was a huge hassle to get all our kids into their age appropriate classrooms (big church, long lines) and then ourselves into the service on-time.  We started thinking about just taking our kids into church with us. 

Then a friend of ours loaned us the book, Parenting in the Pew.  This helped us start getting a bigger picture of what we could accomplish by taking our kids into church with us.  It started to become more than just a way to get out of standing in line.  We also came across Vision Forum Ministries.  This site has a lot of great articles about bringing the families back together in church.

Just as we were starting to get into a groove with the idea of our family worshiping together, the leadership in our church decided that children 7 and under were not allowed into the service.  I am not exaggerating when I say that the Children's Pastor stood up and LITERALLY said, "We can disciple your children better than you."  I'm not kidding.  He said it.  I know for sure because when I looked over at Darin to confirm what I heard, he would not make eye contact with me.  And that was our last day at that church.

So now we are members of a great church that allows us to bring our kids into the service with us.  It's not a thing that many of the other members do, so we do get quite a few stares when we walk in with our crew.  Sometimes we do get encouraged by those sitting around us who give Darin and me the ol' punch in the arm by saying, "Your kids are so well-behaved!"  But the goal is just for our family to worship together.  To be on the same page about what we heard at church and to be able to have a discussion about it at lunch.  It's nice.  :-)

SO...all that to say, this weekend Darin, the kids and I watched a great movie titled Divided.  A lot of us have heard about the Barna Survey that shows that 80% of church youth are leaving the church when they graduate from high school and go to college.  This movie explores why and what can be done to lower that stat.  I really recommend this movie.  You can watch it for free RIGHT HERE.

Job

One of (what I think) my personality flaws is thinking too much.  I just can't bring myself to stop.  I take an issue and dissect it and tear it into as many little pieces as I can in an attempt to get the big picture.  I've been doing that all weekend as I lay here in bed trying to rest from the miscarriage.  I struggle with a few different thoughts.  One in particular is from my theologically unstable upbringing and even though I know better these days, it's hard to shake this one.  And it's as old as Job.  Er....Methuselah?  But it goes back to the story of Job...what did Job's good pals say?  In chapter 8, Bildad said what Job's other friends consistently parrot back to him over and over again throughout the book:

"Does God subvert judgement? Or does the Almighty pervert justice?  If your sons have sinned against Him, He has cast them away for their transgression.  If you would earnestly seek God and make your supplication to the Almighty, if you were pure and upright, surely now He would awake for you, and prosper your rightful dwelling place."

In other words, "Job, your boys were in sin, you are in sin.  You've done something wrong.  That's why you're being punished this way.  Repent and God will make things right for you again."

Ugh.  The first Prosperity Gospel Preachers!  All Job needed to do was write a fat check to someone, right?

So I've been laying here thinking differnt thoughts to myself...I think it's normal to rehash one's life after going through a traumatic experience.  I've been able to look at a few things more honestly and can see areas that need improvement in relation to my trust in God and my attitude toward Darin and the kids and I've promised God I'm going to work harder and smarter.  But those old thoughts keep surfacing.  "God allowed the miscarriage to happen BECAUSE of these issues in my life!"  I've had to give those thoughts back to God.  Who am I to presume to know the mind of God?  I love Susan's comment to my last post:

My first miscarriage (between babies #8 and 9) was similar, with people telling me, "If you'd have prayed harder and done spiritual warfare..." It wasn't until a godly older woman reminded me that life and death are in the hands of God AND God is ALWAYS good that I was able to grieve with hope and peace.

Amen, Susan!  You know, Job never found out the reason why everything that could, happened to him.  God never told him why.  *I* don't ever need to know why we had a miscarriage.  I just need to keep my eyes on Him and not get carried away with trying to think His thoughts for Him.  And isn't it so much easier that way?  Let GOD handle the whys and what-nots.  ;-)

Miscarriage

This morning I had a miscarriage.  Today I would have been officially 13 weeks into my pregnancy.  Ever since we gave our reproductive life over to God, this is the day that I've been dreading.    I hate for someone to misunderstand me - to not "get" me.  Same with God.  I hate it when folks don't "get" that God is in control and still blessing Darin and me EVEN IF we end up with a miscarriage. 

I get it.  I'm 43.  So what most will want to do is say, "Dang, Becca!  You're too old to have more babies.  Darin is too old!  This "trusting God" thing is ridiculous!"  After all, God helps those who help themselves, right?  No.  :-)  I don't believe that.  Why would God feel invited to share in the ups and downs of my life if I felt I could run it better than Him?  He is not my co-pilot.  He is THE pilot...on those days that I do fully put my faith in Him...wish I were perfect at it.

I don't understand why we had a miscarriage.  The Bible clearly states that His ways are higher than my ways.  I will never get it this side of heaven, but I do see how God has blessed us during this whole process.  Yes, He still blesses even during the times when there is heartache.  And in that, I can proudly and boldly say that even with a miscarriage, we can still trust God and are blessed by Him and can continue to put our faith in Him for more, or no children.  Whatever He wishes.

It all started last Thursday.  I was reading through my email when I came across a post on our homeschool support group's forum that said, "New to DCHSA".  I love chatting with new homeschoolers and was curious to see what the post was about, so I clicked on the link.  The post was not written by a new homeschooler, but by a veteran homeschooling mom who had just moved into our area from a different part of D/FW.  She just happened to be a lovely friend from our early days of homeschooling.  We hadn't seen each other on a regular basis since we left our old church back in 2004, but had kept in touch with Christmas cards and are friends on Facebook.  I was excited!  She gave her mobile number in her post, so I called her right away.  We talked for over an hour and of course I told her we were expecting Beard Baby #7.  I was feeling bigger than I felt I should have been, but we were still working on insurance, so hadn't been able to get to the OB to see what was going on yet.  She said, "Go to a clinic!  I'll bet they will give you a sonogram if you will give a donation."

So I did.  I talked with my long lost pal on Thursday, and on Monday I looked up the number of the clinic that is run by our church and was able to get an appointment to have a sonogram for Tuesday.  Darin and I were so excited!  We couldn't wait to see if we had twins.

The sonogram.  Not what we expected.  It was heartbreaking.  We saw a placenta and no twins.  Not even a single baby.  The sonogram tech explained that there have been mistakes with sonograms before - there could still be a baby there, but really to prepare for a miscarriage.  Devastating.  We went home completely shell-shocked. 

Wednesday. I went ahead and called my regular OB to make an appointment to verify what we saw the day before.  Still, with no insurance lined up, it was going to cost $700 just to walk in the door but we felt as if we had no choice.  A sonogram was going to be an extra $250.  The appointment was made for Friday.

Wednesday afternoon.  My lower back started aching.  The beginnings of a miscarriage, I was sure.  But even then, Darin and I still felt hopeful that there might still be a babe in my womb.  Eternal optimists.  ;-)

Thursday.  The bleeding began, the lower back ache intensified and the cramps began.  Okay.  We finally accepted that I was indeed having a miscarriage.

Friday morning.  I woke up to Grace (19mos) crying out and not just cramps, but contractions that finally brought on the miscarriage.  I won't go into details, but it took about 5 hours from start to finish.  I am so thankful that it was in the middle of the night so the kids didn't see a thing.  I was back in bed by the time they were all waking up.

Where's the blessing in all that?

1) If I hadn't had the chance to chat with my friend who gave me such grand advice, we would have never even suspected that there was a problem.  But since we were able to get that sonogram on Tuesday, God was able to begin to prepare our hearts for the "worst."

2) If we had not had the sonogram and known there was a potential problem, we would have run to the ER in a panic as soon as I started cramping and bleeding.  That would have been more expensive than the trip to my OB and devastating to us financially.  Instead, I was able to understand the situation and quietly get through it here at home.

3) Now our $1000 trip to the OB will be dramatically less.  And I'm wondering if my OB will even feel the need to see me unless there are complications from the miscarriage.  So far, so good.  :-)

1 Peter 5:6-7 says, "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."

We don't have a baby from this pregnancy, but we have evidence of His care for us in every detail of our experience.  Our baby is with Him, and He is with us.  Glory be to God.

Getting Control

I've been in recovery mode all summer...trying to get control of our schedule, chores and schooltime.  I should have known...I'm pregnant!  I didn't get a clue until I was 9 weeks and looking back, I get it now.  Most people get morning sickness or swollen feet.  Me, I get the undeniable urge to reorganize.  I look at that as a total blessing, by the way.  I am completely happy when combing through new curriculum and chore charts.  The next best thing is finding stuff to throw away.  Clutter is my enemy.

But we are so excited about our new little one who is on the way.  Groundhog Day is a very special day for us to look forward to now, and I'm praying we don't go past that date like we did with Grace...10 days overdue was no fun.

But I am so excited about our new chore system that I've gotten organized for us!  Our old system was no longer working for our growing family.  It was based around me checking chores.  A good thing, I know, but it was starting to get difficult to find the time to check them.  So many needs, so little time!  So just as I've been working on bringing us back together for school, I've been working on bringing us together for chores.  I adapted FlyLady's cleaning schedule for us all to work on together every day.  No more checking chores because I will be right there with the kids as we all work on cleaning two particular areas of the house each day.  Here's what I've done:

I've taken the house and divided it up so that we can get through each room, plus a little scrapbooking! - in 4 weeks.  But first is our Daily Home Blessing.  This is our first chore that we will work on after breakfast. 

Monday: vacuum & sweep entire upstairs & downstairs
Tuesday: dust every room in the house!
Wednesday: everyone changes sheets
Thursday: empty trash cans & clean out cars
Friday: grocery shopping
Saturday: clean kitchen & bathroom floors
clean glass in the doors & bathroom mirrors
Sunday: REST!

Here's the 4-week cleaning plan.  Thursdays are our run-around-like-crazy-people-day so I've made it an easy day for us.

                                                                Week 1 – Weekly Home Blessing Schedule

Monday: Entrance Detailed Cleaning List

            1. Clean windows & window sills
            2. Clean front door with All-Purpose cleaner
            3. Clean out shoe box
            4. Clean baseboards
            5. Straighten & clean out coat closet
            6. Sweet front porch
            7. Sweep & mop floor

Tuesday: Schoolroom Detailed Cleaning List

            1. Clean windows & sills
            2. Dust shades
            3. Dust bookshelves
            4. Dust baseboards
            5. Vacuum fan
            6. Dust piano
            7. Clean kiddie table & chairs
            8. Wipe down kitchen
            9. Sweep & mop floor

Wednesday: Lydia & Sophia’s Room Detailed Cleaning List

            1. Empty trash
            2. Dust shelves & dresser
            3. Clean out one dresser drawer
            4. Clean from under beds
            5. Clean windows & sills
            6. Vacuum w/hose around edges of room
            7. Clean fan with vacuum hose
            8. Clean out closet
           9. Vacuum the rest of the room

Thursday:  

            1. Dust the top of the refrigerator
            2. Clean garage door inside & out
            3. Lydia clean downstairs bathroom

Friday: Scrapbooking Minute
            Everyone pick out pictures from a particular event & put it down on a page or two.

Week 2 – Weekly Home Blessing Schedule

Monday: Living Room Detailed Cleaning List

1. Dust clock & pictures on wall
2. Dust mantle & knick-knacks on mantle
3. Clean out end table drawer & inside other end table
4. Dust lamp & end tables
5. Wash Joy’s bed
6. Vacuum in couch & chairs
7. Vacuum fireplace w/hose
8. Clean, organize & dust entertainment center
9. Clean window, sill & shade
10. Sweep & mop floor

Tuesday: Mom & Dad’s Bathroom Detailed Cleaning List

1. Wash area rugs
2. Clean shower stall
3. Clean outside shower door
4. Clean scale
5. Clean bathtub
6. Clean toilet
7. Clean mirror
8. Clean sinks & cabinet
9. Clean window & sill
10. Dust dresser
11. Clean floors

Wednesday: Ben’s Room Detailed Cleaning List

            1. Clean windows & sills
            2. Dust shades
            3. Clean out closet
            4. Dust/clean credenza
            5. Vacuum/clean behind credenza
            6. Clean behind bed
            7. Dust dresser & clean out one drawer
            8. Vacuum around edges of room w/hose
            9. Vacuum fan with hose
            10. Vacuum room

Thursday:

            1. Garage Two-Step: everyone go to the garage & put away or throw away two things.
            2. Wash & fold whites together
            3. Lydia clean downstairs bathroom

Friday: Scrapbooking Minute

Week 3 – Weekly Home Blessing Schedule

Monday: Office Detailed Cleaning List

            1. Organize & dust desks
            2. Clean & vacuum behind desks
            3. Clean windows & sills
            4. Dust shades
            5. Vacuum leaf thingy w/hose
            6. Detail dust fish tank
            7. Dust sewing table
            8. Vacuum around edges of room w/hose
            9. Vacuum room

Tuesday:  Kid Bathroom Detailed Cleaning List

            1. Clean window
            2. Clean tile from top to bottom
            3. Clean towel rack in shower
            4. Clean tub
            5. Clean toilet
            6. Organize linen cabinet
            7. Clean light fixture above sink
            8. Clean mirror
            9. Clean sink & cabinet
            10. Organize inside cabinet
            11. Clean baseboards
            12. Vacuum edges of room w/hose
            13. Vacuum/mop floors

Wednesday:  Stairway Detailed Cleaning List

            1. Clean window & sill
            2. Dust shade
            3. Clean baseboards
            4. Clean walls
            5. Clean banister & spindles
            6. Vacuum steps

Thursday:

            1. Garage Two-Step
            2. Lydia clean downstairs bathroom

Friday: Scrapbooking Minute

Week 4 – Weekly Home Blessing Schedule

Monday: Jack & Henry’s Room Detailed Cleaning List

            1. Clean & dust dresser
            2. Clean out one drawer
            3. Clean & organize shelves in blue dresser
            4. Clean out drawers in blue dresser
            5. Clean under bed
            6. Dust shelf above Jack’s bed
            7. Clean windows & sills
            8. Vacuum w/hose around edges of room
            9. Clean out closet
            10. Vacuum room

Tuesday: Mom & Dad’s Room Detailed Cleaning List

            1. Clean windows & sill
            2. Dust shade
            3. Dust dresser
            4. Dust bedside tables
            5. Fill diaper basket
            6. Clean under bed
            7. Vacuum edges of room w/hose
            8. Dust shelves
            9. Vacuum room

Wednesday: Laundry Room Detailed Cleaning List

            1. Clean tops & sides of washer & dryer
            2. Dust & organize shelf
            3. Clean gunk from under washer lid & inside dryer door
            4. Throw away empty bottles
            5. Check behind dryer & washer for clothes & garbage
            6. Vacuum floor w/hose
            7. Put in a load of laundry!

Thursday:

            1. Garage Two-Step
            2. Put away ironed clothes
            3. Lydia clean downstairs bathroom

Friday:  Scrapbooking Minute

 

They are Dear to Me

Lydia and I are reading a great book on the missionary to India, Amy Carmichael.  A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael  It was written by Elisabeth Elliot - another great lady.  I love Amy's all-or-nothing abandonment to God's calling on her life.  I feel that, too.  God is so good - I want to do what it takes to be consistent and faithful to the calling He has placed on my life.

Amy wrote this on the inside cover of her Bible:

These children are dear to Me.  Be a mother to them, and more than a mother.  Watch over them tenderly, be just and kind.  If thy heart is not large enough to embrace them, I will enlarge it after a pattern of My own.  If these young children are docile and obedient, bless Me for it; if they are froward, call upon Me for help; if they weary thee, I will be thy consolation; if thou sink under thy burden, I will be thy Reward.

He will feed His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs with His arm, And carry them in His bosom, And gently lead those who are with young. Isaiah 40:11

Summer Days

This summer we are being on-purpose.  The school year was so busy with stuff that we decided to commit to nothing this summer.  It was real hard for the kids at first, but a slam dunk for Darin and me ;-).  It's been so good to be busy at home.  If I were a better blogger, I would take pictures of all we're doing and post them for you, but it's just not going to happen right now.  We're having too much fun to take pictures!

The biggest temptation Darin and I face is entertaining our kids.  We are surrounded with many good opportunities for entertainment, but then that would interfere with our goals for our family.  We want our kids to enjoy being at home and being a family at home.  If we spent every minute watching movies, playing the Wii, running here and there - even as a family - is it real family time?  Maybe for some it is.  For Darin and me, it just isn't.  We're looking for something more simple.  Darin is teaching Ben to cook on the grill, the girls and I are learning to sprout our own wheat berries and hopefully mill them into flour this afternoon!  We've got a garden going - Jack is especially excited about the herbs we are about to plant.  Peppermint and thyme.  We're also growing potatoes, squash, green beans, lettuce and tomatoes and planted three blueberry bushes that Lydia has adopted as her own pets.  Ben, Henry and Darin have discovered Frisbee Golf.  I'm told it's technically Disc Golf, but I think Disc Golf is for those who didn't grow up with Frisbees in the 70's and 80's???  Let's just say that *I* was playing Frisbee Golf back when it was REALLY Frisbee Golf.  Sophia and Grace almost never leave the sandbox.  Ben, Lydia and Jack have a little mowing business together, and we've gotten in an "Uno" rut lately.  We sit down to play after Grace goes down for her morning nap.  Last week, we played at game, did a chore, played a game, ironed a few shirts, played a game, did another chore...no one should accuse us of being lazy just because it's summer vacation.  ;-)

My biggest personal project for the summer is preparing everything, and I mean EVERY LITTLE DETAIL of our upcoming school year.  I know.  I sound like the biggest control freak ever.  And I am.  But it kills me to not have a plan.  I understand THE plan may not work out and we might have to settle for Plan B.  I'm good with that.  But just starting with a plan makes me feel at peace.  Per my last post, I am consolidating our schooling into one school again.  We are headed back to Unit Studies using Tapestry of Grace.  There is a lot of upfront work to be put in with Tapestry of Grace, but man, I think it's going to be worth it.  As I go through the curriculum while making lesson plans I become more and more enchanted with it.  It's a good curriculum and I think we are all going to have fun with it this year.  We are going to go ahead and slowly start getting back into a school routine at the beginning of July.  We have taken off all of May and June so far.  It's too hot to go outside from 10 - 4, so why not do school.

Writing all this out makes me want to go take pictures and post them here.  I think I'll go get started.  The kids are swimming in the pool some friends gave us after ours gave up the ghost last year.  Pictures soon!

Just as if I Knew No Better...

So this past year with school has been a big beating for me.  With the younger crowd getting older - they are now 5, 3 and 16 months - the demands on my time grow with them.  Hard when I've also got an older crowd doing full-blown school.  With the new demands comes the need to flex and think further outside the box in order to get things done.  The tough thing for me is that I was so engrossed in the daily needs that I didn't realize my situation until this past month.  We've been homeschooling for 11 years now, but I think I pulled out every single rookie mistake in this past year.



Sophia - 2008
They don't stay in the ExerSaucer forever, do they?

 When we started homeschooling our oldest, who is now 15, I made the rookie mistake of trying to cordon him off for homeschooling.  It was frustrating because I kept trying to occupy the younger two in order to keep them away from Ben and me so we could get school done.  I was frustrated, Lydia and Jack were frustrated, and I noticed a frustrated tone creep into Ben's voice when speaking to his brother and sister.  Something had to give, and I stopped trying to do public school at home, and became a KONOS user.  It was just what we needed!  We four studied together (they were 7, 4 and 2 when we started) using the great unit studies found within KONOS.  We had a lot of fun, went on a lot of field trips and the frustration level was way down.  We wound down with KONOS when I discovered we were becoming more interested in the reading than the activities.  From there I moved into the Guerber histories from Nothing New Press that have GREAT reading lists in the back which we faithfully followed.  For Language Arts we used Sonlight, and misc. for math.  It too, was great.  We had a daily plan that we all knew and followed.  Everything worked like clockwork. 

Then we had Henry, Sophia and Grace.  And this year Ben was off doing his own high school curriculum - with Darin and me trying to facilitate that with him, but not doing such a great job of keeping up because of all the stuff we had to keep up with.  I tried to continue with the ol' "daily plan" that was so cozy and comfortable, but with three littles running lose, it wasn't working.



Ben & Lydia - 2004.  Love them.

 ROOKIE MISTAKE #1: I panicked and decided to put Jack and Lydia into their own individual curricula.  My reasoning was that they are now old enough to do most of the heavy work themselves.  They're certainly not total slackers, but it didn't work the way I thought it would.  First of all, they were used to us all spending a lot of time reading together, so they would both bring me books from their curriculum (Sonlight) and ask me if I would read them with them.  I wasn't about to say no.  I love spending time with them and reading good books has been such a bonding time for us.  So there I was, reading to two kids three or four different books each day on top of what I was trying to accomplish with Ben, on top of what I was trying to accomplish with Henry, Sophia and Grace, mealtimes, and laundry (forget the rest of the house).
RECAP: I had three different kids in three different curricula.  Only a complete crazy woman would do something like that.  Sigh.

More later.  It's my bedtime now (related to my rookie mistakes of the past year ;-)

Changes

So many changes this year.  First, our family went "no dairy."  I instigated this on the advice of an acquaintance who said her son's allergies improved when he cut out dairy from his diet.  It works.  We are allergy-free!  It's so nice to be able to make it through spring without resenting the budding trees and the yellow pollen that covers everything here in Dallas.  We just never understood WHY it helps.  We are not lactose intolerant because we can drink raw milk without any issues.  I was reading an article on the best diet for an athlete (Ben plays lacrosse) and came across these two sentences:

Dairy foods, especially commercial dairy (as opposed to raw dairy) are also highly inflammatory. Dairy contains a lot of histamines, which will add to the inflammation already present in the body.

So.  There's a beginning to knowledge.  I hope to eventually find more info on this topic.

We are also now practically gluten-free.  This came about because our son, Jack, was covered in hives.  We had already cut-out dairy, so that couldn't have been the problem.  Jack suggested that it might be wheat causing the problem, so he immediately went cold turkey.  The rest of us are not completely wheat/gluten free, but for logistics sake, we have cut down on wheat quite a bit.  I cannot physically make two different dinners.  Here's another interesting excerpt from the article I mentioned above:

Many athletes are switching to a gluten-free training diet, even if they do not have gluten issues. It has been found that gluten is an inflammatory agent in most people to some degree. Athletes who avoid gluten feel more energetic, less sluggish, lose a little weight, sleep better, have better digestion and generally feel better all around.

We are all carb addicts around here, so it has been hard to go without The Good Gluten.  I found this recipe for Buckwheat Pancakes (buckwheat is not a "wheat"...go figure) that has been heartily approved of by all.  It is quadrupled for my crew, and I added the bananas cause we like some fruit in our pancakes.  The interesting thing is that these taste more like blueberry pancakes than banana pancakes.  I'm guessing it's the flavor of the buckwheat. 

Banana Buckwheat Pancakes

4 c. buckwheat
4 t. baking powder
1/2 c. sugar
2 t. salt
4 eggs

4 c. kefir (or milk)

1/2 c. coconut oil (or butter), melted

6 pureed bananas

We eat our pancakes with maple syrup.  Yum.  But only organic maple syrup.  I recently found out that non-organic maple syrup is processed with formaldehyde.  Bleh.  After a lot of searching for the best price, I finallly subscribed to Amazon's "Subscribe and Save" Coombs Family Farms Organic Maple Syrup.  It's delievered to our house once each month.  I love that I don't have to do anything to get it.  It's automatically shipped (no shipping!) without me having to think about it.

Last big change is cloth diapering.  Not something I ever imagined doing, but diapers have been dramatically increasing in price.  Darin and I did the math, and of course cloth diapering is the cheaper route, so here we go!  Trial run starts tomorrow.  I'm a little nervous.  I don't imagine it's going to be any fun to rinse a "stinky" out in the toilet, but I've got rubber gloves on stand-by. 

Dishrags

There's not much free time in my daily schedule for me to incorporate hobbies into the routine, but there are some things I hate to do without.  Knitting dishrags is one of those things. 

Dishrags, I know, are a very personal thing.  We all have a rag that we swear by, and I absolutely swear by my knitted rags.  I'm a "tight" knitter.  I pull my stitches tight - most knitters would cringe if they saw me.  I know this because I have had a couple of knitting-mamas cringe when they saw me give my stitch a good yank.  But I'm an all-or-nothing personality...heavy on the "all."  It is the predetermined fate of my dishrags to be pulled tight.  I can't bear to have a loosely knitted rag. 

I know from experience that a tightly-stitched rag lasts longest.  My Mom is the better knitter and gives her creations a little more breathing room than I do, but her rags, although pretty, don't last as long as mine.  Right now the oldest rag I have in my kitchen drawer is about four years old.  Not bad when one considers that our family of 8 just went 1 1/2 years without a dishwasher.  That's a lot of hand-washed dishes!

I love sitting down on the couch with my daughter to knit.  We have a lot of fun just sitting and knitting.  It's been a great activity for her to flex her patience.  She does not enjoy having to work as long as it takes to knit a dishrag, and we have some interesting rags in the drawer because of that.  But with every rag she works on, she gets more patient and careful and interested in what she's doing.

I am a member of a yahoogroup called Monthly Dishcloths.  It's fun!  For the first 10 days of the month, 10 rows of a dishrag pattern are sent to my inbox each day.  At the end of 10 days, voila!  A new rag.  These are called "knitalongs."  In the middle of the month, another pattern is sent which is used to teach a new technique.  One month I had a cable knit dishrag - I sweated over that one!

A few years ago, I knitted my heart out for my neighbors.  I knitted each of them three dishrags for Christmas, and I think they're probably about ready for more.  ;-)  Darin is one of those wonderful Renaissance Men and can do just about anything I challenge him with.  He wrote this poem for me to include with our dishrags those few Christmases ago:

Christmas is a time for giving,
So it must mean the neighbors are coming.
So get the milk ready,
The chances are steady
That cookies are forthcoming.

But what else is this they are giving?
Something made by knitting.
It seems a bit small
For a blanket or shawl.
We just don’t know what we are getting.

So let me explain what you have received.
There is no reason to be grieved.
It’s a rag for dishes,
With soap and swishes.
Your plates will certainly be cleaned.

It was knitted with care and love
And thoughts of you to be sure of.
Too pretty to use,
Oh, but please do!
And Merry Christmas from Heaven above.

Movie Night at the Beard's

We host a movie night with our neighborhood friends every now and then.  We have a lot of fun, and it's a great way for Darin and me to get to know the kids our kids play with a little better.  They're a fun bunch of kids and we really enjoy them. 

We made brownies and popcorn, but these crazy boys ended up filling up on my beef stew. 
Warms a mother's heart, I tell ya.

Dare I say it? 

Girls, they wanna have fu-un. Oh, girls! They wanna have fun!
(my 80's roots are showing)

Boys....they just wanna wrestle. 

ChickaChickaBirthday

I'm turning 43 on Saturday and can't wait. I've found myself slipping over the last couple of months and telling people that I am already 43. Whoops! ONLY 42. ;-)

It's been a blessing to grow old...er. Older. I feel like every year that goes by I am shedding the ignorance and silliness of youth. Oh, to go back and do it again with what I know now. But I can't, so I look forward to moving "onward and upward." God is good.

One of my favorite things about age is that I feel like now I know how to properly read my kids their books. Back in my 20s, I read with feeling. Reading with feeling is good. A lot better than monotone. But now....NOW I have let go my inhibitions and can really slam dunk a read-through of those books that I used to try to skirt around when my kids would bring them to me because REALLY. How does an author think to put the phrase "ChickaChickaBoomBoom" in the middle of a story about the lowercase alphabet that climbs a tree together? Well....ChickaCHIckaBOOMBOOM! My kids don't care. They just think it's fun to hear me read it with ChickaChickaBoomBOOM-Pizazz, and I enjoy giggling with, and snuggling them in my arms as we "read it again!"  God is REALLY ChickaChickaBoomBoom-GOOD!

Eight O'Clock Pick-Up

An excerpt from 401 Ways to Get Your Kids to Work at Home: Household tested and proven effective! Techniques, tips, tricks, and strategies on how to get your kids to ... become self-reliant, responsible adults
I mean, really, if you can't find something that works after reading 401 suggestions, it's time to send the kids back to wherever they came from.  ;-):

Carolyn discovered a natural consequence that worked wonders.  The incident that motivated Carolyn, and her husband, Bob, to try this program was the mess they came home to one night.  Books, toys, clothes, towels and dishes were everywhere.  Rather than wake everyone in their anger, they laid out a plan.  The next morning they explained to the children, "We will go through the house twoice a day at eight o'clock.  anything left out in the general living areas will be put in the Extra-Service Box and will have to be redeemed with a chore sometime before Saturday at noon.  Consider yourselves warned."  That night, Carolyn and Bob picked up twelve things.  Next morning, when the children noticed the Extra-Service Box sitting in a conspicuous place on top of the refrigerator, they were all curious about who had things in the box.  "What do I need to do for you, Mom, to earn back my shoes?"  "Wipe off the TV screen" was the answer.

Carolyn had unsuccessfully tried using a similar technique before, where she would pick up an item left out at any time.  This was asking for perfection from the child and the parent had to stand guard all the time.  It was unenforceable.  Her real purpose was not to make the child perfect but to get him or her to notice and put away their own things.  She did not mind so much that things were left out in temporary spots once in a while, but it angered her when those temporary spots became permanent and the child never noticed the item until it was needed several days later.  For example, one of her sons had three coats.  He would go to the closet every time he needed a coat and only when there was not a coat in the closet would he think about where he could have left them.
This time, as Carolyn used this behavior modification technique, it was easier to be consistent with the consequence because it only happened twice a day.  She also watched for chances to reinforce the desired behavior when a child did pick up something: "Becky is saving herself an extra-service chore by picking up her shoes." An important ingredient for changing a habit is giving positive recognition for the desired action.

The evening of the second day, the fifteen-year-old could be seen picking up a whole arm load as she headed toward her bedroom.  Succes!  It was working.  This young lady was very involved in school activities but was especially careless at home.  It was this teen who put her dad's shoes in the box because they were out after eight o'clock and declared he would have to do her an extra chore.  The fourth morning was Saturday.  As the eleven-year-old boy appeared for breakfast, he noticed the service box and started checking to see if he had to redeem anything.  "What do I need to do to redeem my coat, Mom?"  Carolyn had him take the newspapers out to the garage.  This young man not only redeemed his own items, but everyone else's too.  Then he proudly took each item to the owner, telling about his generosity.  Carolyn's eight-year-old daughter had a spurt of energy while her mother was gone, and emptied the dish drainer and washed a sinkful of dishes.  "Did you like the way I helped out?  Does that mean I have redeemed something ahead of time?"  Success again!  She was noticing things that needed to be done without being told.

This eight o'clock pick-up was used by Carolyn every day for several weeks and then she let it die because the childen were much improved at picking up after themselves.  Three months later, she used it again for a few days to reinforce the principle.  Why did the eight o'clock pick-up work?

1. The children were mature enough to understand.

2. The eight o'clock rounds were easier to enforce than the "all the time" rule.

3. The Extra-Service Box was left out where it could be seen.

4. Redemption chores were kept very, very simple - less than five minutes and chores that were normally not theirs.

5. Special efforts were made to give lots of positive attention when the children picked up and put things away at other times.

6. A gentle, one-time reminder was often given before the parent's rounds were made.

7. The child's things left out in his own bedroom did not count; rather, they were treated with the daily pick-up chore by the child in the room and on Saturday when the bedroom was thoroughly cleaned.