Write it Out

Our school just about came to a standstill this week because of printer ink.  I created new schedules for the kids.  I make a weekly schedule for them so they can plan their school day on their own.  I supervise.  But we were out of ink.  I TRIED to print, but the ol' printer just couldn't get up the umph to get down to the very bottom of our ink cartridge and print a good page for me.  Then the thought occurred to me, "Well, I guess I could WRITE OUT their schedules for them for the next few days."  What a radical thought!  ;-)

But being tied to a neat print out, I just couldn't bring myself to do it, and I didn't know what else to do without messing up my plans for school, so I found time to run to Office Max and buy some black ink.

Isn't that the silliest thing you have ever heard?  I've been thinking about this all day.  When was the last time a pen ran out of ink at our house?  I couldn't tell you.  When I was in college, the whole computer thing was brand new and we thought it was so kewl to print out our research papers on a computer printer, rather than type them the old fashioned way.  Remember those printers that had the paper with the perforated sides?  And what fonts?  There were no fonts.  Just plain ol' computer font.  And now I not only print in my choice of fonts (I love Book Antigua), but my printer is also a copier!  How did we ever teach school without these things?  I would not be complete without them. 

Ahhhh, progress.  :-)

He Keeps Me Singing

This is an article I wrote for our support group's newsletter.  After I wrote my last post I was reminded of this.  It's the perfect example of how God was able to control the situtaion I was in.  It's such a relief that I know He has my back!  :-)

He Keeps Me Singing

I sat on the couch, listening to my children bicker, bicker and bicker even more with each other, just as they had been all that morning.  Just as they had been all that week!  It was Friday, and I totally understand all the implications Friday brings.  Celebration!  Relief, knowing that it’s the last day of the work week and that the next day we get to relax!  TGIF, right?  I guess my kids don’t totally get that yet, because they were going full steam ahead with the status quo for that week

Darin and I have specific goals in mind for our children.  We have our mission statement, and it’s burned on our hearts and minds.  In a nutshell, it’s to raise our children to be better prepared for life that we were.  Sounds kind of vague, but it has very specific meanings for us.  Part of the very specific meaning for us is to focus on their spiritual lives.  Yet as the kids had worn me down with their bickering all week, I began to lose my resolve. 

We were getting ready for our morning Bible study.  I sat on the couch with my Bible and hymn book in my lap, rubbing my forehead with my first three fingers in total despair and frustration, until I thought I was going to wear a permanent red mark there.  I was shedding a few tears and silently praying, “God, I see the vision You’ve given Darin and me for our kids, but would it really hurt to call it a Movie Day?  They can space out to movies, and I can get away from their arguing with each other and me.  Sounds fair, ya?”  No.

“God, I can see the vision You’ve given Darin and me for our kids, but surely it wouldn’t hurt if I just called a timeout and spent some time building myself up for a change, rather than being bombarded with complaining and disobedience.  It would help me to be able to deal calmly with them later, ya?”  No.

“God, I can see the vision You’ve given Darin and me for our kids, but I am worn out!  I don’t think I can go on, YA?”  No.  You can.  You have to.  Do you see the vision I have given you?

“Okay.  Please help me!”  Ya.

I usually let the kids pick the songs we will sing, but this time I picked it!  “Trust and Obey”.  This was no time to be subtle!  These kids needed to learn to Trust, and especially to Obey, right?  As we sang this song, I felt nothing but wiped out, but we made it through with little stress so I asked Lydia what she would like to sing.  She looked at the hymn book, and pointed to the song across from “Trust and Obey”, which we had never sung before, but I knew it, so agreed to go for it.  As I read the title, I chuckled a little at the irony.  It was “He Keeps Me Singing”.  I thought, “Oh, please!  I am singing, but not cheerfully!”  Here is my thought process as we sang this song:

“There’s within my heart a melody,”
Oh yeah, I’m just jumping for joy, here!  WHAT melody?
“Jesus whispers sweet and low;”
Oh, I guess I can’t hear that melody above my own complaining and disobedient attitude!  Bummer!  Well, it’s going to take me awhile to get over this.
“Fear not, I am with thee, peace be still,”
That’s right.  You said you would help me. I’m sorry.  Please help me to feel Your true joy and be able to truly disciple my children for You!
“In all of life’s ebb and flow.”
Even today!  Thank You!

(Sing it if you know it!)
“Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! 
Sweetest name I know!
Fills my every longing!
Keeps me singing as I go!”

Doesn’t He?  Yes.  He keeps us all singing as we go along the road if we remember to Trust and Obey His words.  And I thanked Him then, and thank Him now for His faithfulness in keeping His vision for our children alive in my heart that day.  We had a wonderful time of Bible study and hymn singing, and the rest of our day went so much more smoothly than when it started.  I like Ezra 8:22.  It says, “…the hand of our God is upon all them for good that seek Him.”  He never forgets a promise.  Thank you, God!

Control Freak

This pregnancy has really slowed me down.  I had a bit of queasiness to deal with for a few weeks.  I have never, ever had any type of nausea or queasiness with my other four pregnancies so I thought that I was exempt from all that stuff.  Surprise!  :-)  But that's gone now, and I am left with the tiredness.  By this time of night I just want to go to bed - not make school schedules and organize school papers or pay bills.

When I'm asked if this is my first pregnancy (heeheehee) and reply that no, it's my fifth, I usually get the same response: "You must be really patient."  No, I'm not the most patient person in the world.  I will not be up for sainthood anytime soon.  The thing that sees me through the ins-and-outs of a big family is learning to let go. 

I have always been a control freak.  I like for events to happen when-planned and as-planned.  Any deviation from that and I can very easily slip into mild hyperventilation that is only cured as I find some aspect of the situation to claim as my own and control.  But as you know, life with kids is hardly something that can always be controlled, and once we got past three to the fourth, I felt that, to a certain extent, I had lost control of life.  Then it occurred to me that I never had the control that I thought I had.  What I've actually supposed to have been doing all along is MANAGING.  Hard to swallow.  It's so much more fun to be in control, eh?  ;-)

As I was thinking of this, I was reminded of the Parable of the Talents .  What did the servants do who were blessed by their master?  They managed the money for their master so that it grew and produced more for him.  The servant who was labeled wicked and lazy was the control freak.  He wanted specific things to happen with that money but was afraid of unknown circumstances that might come along to prevent what he wanted to happen.  So he found a way to control the situation, by doing nothing.  He gave up, put his fingers in his ears, closed his eyes tight and waited until the situation he found himself in passed.  How many times have I been tempted to do that in situations with my kids or homemaking?  Too many to count? 

Giving up control is hard because in our pride we think that we can handle "it."  But when we can "let go and let God"  we will find that He is as He says. "I reap where I have not sown, and gather where I have not scattered seed." (Matthew 25:24)  And I have seen that more than once or twice around here.  :-) 

Pregnancy Update

I had my first OB appointment today.  I was about to DIE until time for this appointment.  I love going and hearing the heartbeat of the baby for the first time (always makes me cry!), and because of my Advanced Maternal Age (WELL! I never!), I usually get a sonogram.  ;-)

There were no disappointments in this visit.  I got to see the baby and he/she was very busy!  So early in the pregnancy, and yet we could see little tiny arms and legs moving.  It made me all teary and so anxious to meet this little person. 

Every time I'm pregnant, I think that the newest baby just cannot outdo the latest baby in cuteness and cuddliness, and I certainly feel that way now!  I mean, Third Son just couldn't get ANY cuter.  Blonde hair, bright blue eyes, chubby cheeks, hands and legs.  I mean, come on, you would want to squish this boy if you could see him. 

Yesterday when I was talking on the phone to his Dad, I ended the conversation with "bye."  That little mockingbird repeated what I said, and then today was walking around with a fake phone talking his sweet gibberish into it, and then after a minute or two, he would say, "Bye!"  And he would say it as if he has a southern accent - "bi!"  I know we live in Texas, but I grew up in Buffalo, NY, and my husband grew up here, but has the standard American accent.  Not sure how he ended up with that, but that's how it is.  So it is so funny to hear Third Son say, "Bi!"

The only "setback" to the visit was that when my OB measured the baby during the sonogram, the measurements were coming up at 9 weeks, 5 days, rather than the 10 weeks, 5 days I "should" be.  So now my due date has been moved up six days to December 14th.  Now I need to see if I can fix my counter-thingy up at the top of my blog!  Honeeeeeeey.......!

We Cannot Stop Speaking

This is from an email newsletter from our pastor, Tommy Nelson.  Love this guy.  If you are interested in hearing some good teaching, you can subscribe to his podcasts HERE.  If you are not into the iPod thing, then you can go HERE to hear his sermons online.

''For we cannot stop speaking about what we have seen and heard.''
Acts 4:20

The early church was commanded to ''speak and teach no more in name of Jesus.'' Their response was not that it violated God's command, but rather that it physically impossible for them to keep silent about the majesty and wisdom and glory and grave and wonder of Jesus. Like Elihu of old (Job 32:18-20):

''For I am full of words; The spirit within me constrains me.
''Behold, my belly is like unvented wine, Like new wineskins it is about to burst.
''Let me speak that I may get relief; Let me open my lips and answer.''

Elihu spoke because truth demanded that he must. The error that filled his ears was so vexing that it had to be allayed by God's word.

Such was the witnessing of the early church - ''We MUST speak!'' They had ''seen'' the Life of God before them. They had beheld the only begotten God, full of Grace and Truth. They had seen the might of God exercised for the good of man through His miracles. They had seen at the transfiguration His majesty and beheld the angelic messengers at His rising into glory. They had also ''heard words such as no man spake.'' The very wisdom of God Incarnate had broken upon their minds like the light of a new day.

And thus, ''we cannot stop speaking about
what we have seen and heard.''

We all share thegospel because of the command of God and the edict of the dispensation of grace, but ''the love of Christ constrains us.'' We simply cannot quit speaking about what we have seen and heard. His Person is simply too magnificent; His work too benevolent; His gift too blessed. Like the lame man, we go walking and leaping and praising God. Like the blind Bartimaeus we cast aside our beggar's rags and accompany Him down the road. Like the forgiven Zaccheus, we count our wealth as His. These men did such things because they had to. His touch could not be contained within themselves. As the now sane demoniac we beg to accompany Him. ''Go back to your own people'' saith Christ ''and tell them what great things God has done for you.'' We must go and do likewise.

Turn it Back to Praise

I felt convicted yesterday, on Mother's Day. 

Before I go further, I want everyone to know that I understand that in the Bible, God says for children to honor their father and mothers.  With that said...

What bothered me yesterday was that I felt we, as mothers, should be pointing the finger right back at God in honor.  We are mothers only because God has chosen, in His wisdom, to bless us with biological, adoptive or spiritual children.  How many times have each of us fallen on our knees and begged God to see us through a certain situation with our children?  How many times have we told others that we couldn't do it without Him?  I have done those things, and yet yesterday I moaned a little bit to myself because I didn't get to relax as I would have wanted. 

That's when I believe that God started speaking to me.  Is it all about what my husband and children give me for Mother's Day?  Is it all about me not having to cook or clean on Mother's Day?  After all, isn't that what part of being a Mother is all about?  Why should I be upset if I have to DO the things that MAKE me what I am?  It doesn't mean that my children and husband love me any less, or honor me any less.  To me, it means that we are working as we should - as a team, with everyone pitching in and doing their share - with no fits from Mom! 

How many times have you heard people say that when Jesus comes back, they want to be found working for Him?  I would say that's a good plan.  I pray that when Jesus comes back, He finds me doing the work He has placed before me - that Mother-Work.  More than anything, I pray that he finds me doing it with a good attitude - even if it's on Mother's Day.  ;-)

So today during our Bible Study time, the kids and I chatted about this, and we spent our prayer time thanking God for making me a Mother and for making them my children.  What a TRUE blessing that time was for me.  It felt so good to give the praise where the praise was due. 

All day this song kept going through my mind.  Especially this part: "Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise!" 

Blessed Be Your Name
by Matt Redman
- - -
Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

Thinking Husband

Well, I don't know if it was the Thinking Blogger award that I awarded my husband that inspired him to finally get his blog up and running, but it's done.  It's so nice looking.  Being a web developer has its perks, and he designed his own blog.  Of course here I am with the stock template from homeschoolblogger.  Does that seem right?  After all, I am his wifey......we'll see.  ;-)

Mission of Fatherhood is the blog.  Please stop by and welcome him to the blogosphere!

 

Women in Bible Study

My husband and three older kids are camping this weekend.  I sure do miss them.  It's too quiet around here, but Third Son is definitely keeping me busy.  :-)

I had the chance to catch-up with a friend that I haven't seen enough of in the last year.  Some friendships never fade, and for that, I am so grateful.  We had a great evening together.  At one point, she asked, "Do you ever feel as if you wish you could get involved in a Bible Study?"

I used to do a Woman's Bible Study regularly.  I thought I needed the time away from the kids.  I thought it made me a better mom.  I think what it really did was make me long for more and more time away from my family because I was getting to have "real" conversations with adults.  Isn't that the goal of every mother?  To have "real" conversations? 

Since I no longer attend Women's Bible Studies, God has been doing some teaching of His own.  He has turned my heart toward home like never before, and attending a Bible Study doesn't hold the draw for me that it once did.  God constantly challenges, HUMBLES and teaches me through my daily life with my husband and children in ways that I could never receive at a Women's Bible Study.

It has been hard.  There are times when I do feel like an island.  I don't really know many others that think as I do.  I guess they're all at home with their husbands and children, which is why we never meet.  ;-)  I have been so thankful for the blogging community!  I have come across a few blogs that really encourage me in this area.

Well, this first one isn't really a blog, but a great article on Women in Ministry.  I am a recovering "woman in ministry."

JacqueDixonSoulRestES

Christine Miller

Maxwell Family Blog

Susan