Always on My Mind

We should get the results of Ben's test that he just took in three weeks.  I was nervous for him but when we picked him up after it was over, he said, "no sweat!"  Good thing.  I was imagining him saying something like, "Man, Mom, that was HARD.  It turns out you've been a really bad teacher all these years.  I didn't know ANYTHING on that test!"  ;-) 

I am one of those people who get hit by the obvious things fairly often.  Seems like they are things I should have understood from the beginning, and maybe I do, but one day, a thought will hit me as if it were the first time and send me reeling.  Yesterday I was watching Ben interact with his brothers and sisters.  I remembered when he was a young guy, seeing a young adult man - probably around Ben's age now - play with Ben and I thought how nice it would be to see Ben grow into the kind of sweet guy that young man was.  And I remember thinking how the mother of that young man had it made.  Her job was practically finished and it looked as if she was turning out a good egg.  All she had left to do was coast through the last few years of raising him before sitting down to rest on her childrearing laurels. 

Here's where my thoughts hit me like a ton of bricks.  Ben may grow up, leave the house, get married, have children, a job and a great life, but my care and concern for him will never be over to the point where I will never worry over his choices, his character, his relationship with God.  He literally is my baby for life.  Reminds me of "Love You Forever".  How fun would it be to drive over to Ben's house, climb a ladder to his bedroom window and rock him and sing while he sleeps. :-)