A Big “duh” Moment

Something has finally become clear to me.  An acquaintance of mine told me that she and her husband had decided to put their son in public school next year.  Her only real reason was that when she saw the work her son did in his local co-op class, compared to the work he did at home, there was a huge difference.  He made really good grades in the co-op classes, which were challenging.  His work at home....not so good.  So she decided that since her son did so much better in his co-op class compared to the school he did at home that he obviously "responded better" to others.  "Somehow," she said, "he just doesn't put out the effort for me that he does for his other teachers outside the home."

I'm a thinker, and I've been mulling this over and over in the weeks since I chatted with this friend.  There was a time in my thinking process when I thought I also needed to be alarmed because I too, have noticed that my son seems to put out a little more effort for his Biology class at co-op than for some of his work at home. 

I've also been talking with Darin about it.  We've come to the conclusion that the work attitude reflects the heart attitude.  It boils down to whether or not our son is truly honoring his mom and dad as God asks him to do. 

Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you...Dueteronomy 5:16

When Darin and I put work down in front of our son, he should do the work with all his best efforts as a result of his desire to be obedient to God by honoring his dad and me.

It would be nice to be able to lay all the problem at Ben's feet, but that's just not the way it works with parenthood.  Darin and I also realized in the same conversation that it is our job to make sure Ben knows what his proper response to our requests should be.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.  Ephesians 6:4

It's a two-way street.  If we are being clear as day about God's expectations, then we have every right to expect honor in return.  So once again, we're humbled.  Of course Ben has heard us repeat Ephesians 6:1 and Exodus 20:12 about a million times, but I don't know how much we had ever practically applied it to his life.  Ya know, things that seem crystal clear to us, the adults, are not so clear to the kids.  It's our job to teach it and live it.