I came across J.C. Ryle's The Duties of Parents on the web tonight....sitting here waiting for the storm to get here. :-) It is a sermon that he delivered in which he gives 17 Hints on Parenting. Here is #1. A good one.
Hint #1. If you want to train your children correctly, train them in the way they should go, and not in the way that they want to go.
Remember children are born with a definite bias towards evil, and therefore if you let them choose for themselves, they are certain to choose wrong.
The mother cannot tell what her tender little infant may grow up to be—tall or short, weak or strong, wise or foolish—he may be any of these things or not—it is all uncertain. But one thing the mother can say with certainty: he will have a corrupt and sinful heart. It is natural for us to do wrong. "Folly," says Solomon, "is bound up in the heart of a child" [Proverbs 22:15]. "A child left to himself disgraces his mother" [Proverbs 29:15]. Our hearts are like the earth on which we walk; leave it alone, and it is sure to bear weeds.
If, then, you want to be wise in dealing with your child, then you must not leave him to the guidance of his own will. Think for him, judge for him, act for him, just as you would for one who is weak and blind; but for pity's sake, do not allow him to pursue his own unruly tastes and inclinations. It must not be his tendencies and wishes that are favored. He does not yet know what is good for his mind and soul, any more than what is good for his body. You do not let him decide what he will eat, and what he will drink, and how he will be clothed. Be consistent, and deal with his mind in the same manner. Train him in the way that is scriptural and right, and not in the way that he thinks is right.
If you cannot agree with this first principle of Christian training, then it is useless for you to listen any further. Self-will is almost the first thing that appears in a child's mind; and it must be your first step to resist it.
I think this is a great reminder in today's world. We offer our children a smorgasbord of activities, playdates and entertainment. So often, this only feeds our kid's natural inclination to self-interest. It becomes all about their need to find a way to satisfy their wants and interests rather than giving them the higher goal of serving God and others.
It's a struggle! Knowing where to draw the line in this area calls for a lot of prayer and trust in God.
This is such a good reminder and conviction. Thanks for taking to time to type it up.
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This already sounds like a book I would like (but don't have time to read!) Gosh, it seems simple enough, but once you start training them to think of others before themselves, you then have to train thier hearts to have good attitudes while doing so! It gets exhausting and sometimes you wonder are you responding and training in a way that will be effective in the positive direction or is it only going to cause bitterness? *sigh* This is something I deal with in my 6 year old at times. Thankfully, she does have a desire to do right, and that definately helps! Thank you for the excerpt! And thanks for visiting my blog! :)
ReplyDeleteI agree, Christin, it's hard to know exactly how to approach the many issues we need to bring to our kids without totally overwhelming them and making them bitter. But ya know what they say....slow and steady wins the race. ;-) A little at a time! I read somewhere that William Wilberforce's wife CONSTANTLY nagged their children about God, the Bible, their behavior. She never let it go and she chased away some of her kids. I like Charlotte Mason's advice which is to let conversation about character come up naturally so it's not forced and the kids aren't rolling their eyes at us.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you stopped by. My computer is dead and I am now checking my blogs at my mother in law's, which is not very often.
ReplyDeleteI am so interested in the CVS stuff. I went the other day and earned a free toothbrush. I was selfish, I kept it for myself and it's awesome!! LOL!!
Belinda